I Don’t Recognize You Anymore

I look at you now and I can’t recognize you. I recognize your deep brown eyes but not what is behind them and it feels like I’ve never met you before. You are not the man I fell in love with.

You cease to acknowledge me, you no longer have interest in my life these days, and the bed has started to feel warmer when you’re not in it rather than the other way around.

I need validation. Validation from you that what I am doing is something great and you don’t acknowledge me or the things you have no interest in. It makes me feel like my happiness over my small successes is foolish and not important or not as great as I think they are.

I’ve given you so many chances to care, so many chances to fix your wrongs, and you don’t take any of them and that hurts especially coming from the same person that would’ve wrapped their arms around me in glee a few months ago. 

I oftentimes wonder where the old you is now. I imagine him in a beautiful place where love has no end and laughing and happiness is as vital as air and water. I want to be there with him and not with the shell he once lived in because that’s all you have become. The shell of a boy I used to know, a boy I used to love feverishly and passionately.

I wonder if there is hope for that boy’s return because I am tired of waiting around for him and the days seem much too long to wait any longer.

I used to love you with all my heart, so much that it was overwhelming and now I can’t look at you without missing the person you used to be and it’s saddening.

I don’t know if the old you will ever find his way back, but until then, I wish you the best because I have no more chances to give, unfortunately.