How It Felt Falling Out Of Love With You

It was subtle. It happened slowly like an hourglass slowly drops sand and it hurt in the softest of ways. My heart was slowly expelling you and it was disheartening yet satisfying because I had my reasons.

You were my entire life. You comforted me when the world was cold and cruel, you fell in love with me despite my flaws and you welcomed my love in return. The thing I find most crazy is that 6 months ago, I would’ve never imagined that I would be here admitting that I no longer love you.

We had lost a fire that had burned brightly for 4 years and it was all because you had stopped showing interest in me and my life even though you were the biggest part of it. You stopped wanting the same things I wanted and you were becoming harder to compromise with because you wanted what you wanted and that’s not how you make a relationship last.

You had become selfish and you stopped considering my feelings and needs. I tried to adjust to your new attitude, but that only made me think more that maybe we just weren’t meant to be the way I thought we were and that realization made my heart feel like it no longer had a purpose. 

It was painful because you were the person who had made me the happiest I had ever been in my entire life only to slowly take bits of me, leaving me feeling cold and like some big part of me was missing.

I had dedicated whole playlists to you, songs of love and life and happy endings and now those songs seemed more morbid than joyful and you’re to blame.

You consumed my energy like humans consume air and I was tired. You had become more of a problem than anything and I hated that especially since I can remember you being the only thing in the entire world that I loved wholeheartedly and loved me wholeheartedly in return.

It also felt horrible losing all this progress that took years to build up. 

We had compromised so much, sacrificed things we would’ve never thought we would have sacrificed for each other and you just gave up and now all the memories of you are tainted because I don’t love you the way I used to and I kind of resent you for it.

Falling out of love with you was like slowly pulling a band-aid off. Painful yet, once it was finally off, there was this subtle happiness that all the pain was finally over and I don’t think I could have made an analogy more accurate.

Falling out of love with you was horrible because I missed that closeness and that need for you. I missed the way you held me like you meant it. You stopped radiating love and warmth and instead you were cold and submissive.

I loved you passionately and aggressively and you took that for granted because you were used to it and now I hope you can adjust to life without it at all. Just know that I wanted you to be the one like I always imagine you would have been, but I deserve more and I can’t keep settling.

I fell out of love with you and those pieces you took from me can never be replaced, but I’ll figure out a way to manage and I hope you learn from this. 

I hope you learn that love like ours isn’t something you come across every day. Not to say I am irreplaceable, because I don’t know if that’s true, but you will never be able to replace all those beautiful memories or recreate them. I just hope that you find yourself in a place in life that makes you happy and that you cherish the next girl in the way you did not cherish me.