Ari Eastman

While my peers were up prank phone calling, nearly overdosing on Pixie sticks, and practicing the earliest form of flirting, TPing, I stayed up late watching Nora Ephron films.

One of the nights when my mom was asleep, my dad fell in the bathroom.

You will never know the way I kiss on a Sunday morning.

Within minutes of casting my eyes upon his slender frame, nerdy-chic wardrobe, and witnessing his lyrical genius, I melted into one smitten kitten.

An ancient philosopher from the mystical land of Toronto once said, “You’re a good girl and you know it.”

He has a girlfriend. And that girlfriend is not you.

5. Stop making jokes during foreplay.