It’s Hard To Say My Depression Is Back, So I Just Don’t

My friend is concerned & I wanna tell her not to be,
meaning, I’M FINE, I SWEAR!
meaning, in college I perfected the art of the lie,
meaning, I’m a mental health advocate
and haven’t seen a therapist since college,
meaning, people reach out and I want to hide,
meaning, I’m mad at the people who didn’t,
meaning, I get texts that say R U OK,
meaning, my brain is just wrong, okay,
meaning, what am I supposed to say?
meaning, I love seeing you shine,
can’t dim it with my torrential downpour,
meaning, forget that shit,
meaning, I’m making depression sound like Eeyore,
meaning, sorry, there’s no good poem for this.