Anonymous

My job was as a “Describer”…I would watch the videos all day long, take screenshots, and then try to write the most enticing copy that I could (which often all ended up sounding the same, and used far too many exclamation points).

“Can’t we be together without being together?” was my standard line. “Why does everyone need to know about our private life?”, and “Let’s just be casual” was working as excuses for each non-relationship I ever had. I was a human yo-yo.

We don’t fit in with our married parent friends — or our single friends. We can be lonely.

It might just be a hook-up but if you want it to happen you have to turn my brain on, not my eyes.

I learned that the word HIV blinded me to see a human being in a matter of seconds.

Once you’re in the game, there are no easy exits.

Guys: Never be like this loser.

But when my daughter arrived, things changed quickly. Where my body had felt vibrant and warm, it suddenly felt empty and sagging.

I knew I had to do something. He had defriended me on Facebook right away, but I had a girlfriend keep tabs on him.

When I was 16, I kept praying to God for an extra couple of inches, however, I think there was a misunderstanding.

“Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery.”

HA HA HA HA HA FUUUUUCKKKKKK YOUUUU.

Ladies, when you’re with a guy have you ever thought to yourself, “Let’s cut to the chase—how big are you?”

I want to dispel the notion here that a relationship that is sexually healthy will not result in cheating — to the contrary.

Sometimes it’s easier to not say anything at all. Who knows? Maybe that text message never got delivered and you can go on pretending you never sent it.

Is seeing the face you used to admire, the body you used to hold and be held by, and the eyes that used to peer into your soul going to trip you right back into their spell?

No matter who they end up with, people are always going to say “they could have done better.”

Now that I’ve lost her, I can’t stop thinking about her laugh, her freckles, her crepe making abilities, our late nights sipping vodka out of water bottles, giggling and feeling invincible with her by my side.