I’ll Never Be Sorry Enough For Being An Overthinker

I overthink. A lot.

There are times when I don’t know where I’m coming from. There are moments when I am certain that there is pain all over my system. I always try to take my insanity away but it’s not easy. I don’t mean to give worries or any harm. Everything’s inside my head. I am sorry, truly.

I’m sorry if I always ask questions. I’m even sorrier if I ask them repeatedly. There’s always a part of me that needs to know if you really love me. My brain can’t handle this bunch if I don’t ask them away. I badly want honesty. I need to hear your thoughts while looking at me in the eye. When you enlighten me with your answers, it magically clears the typhoons in my head.

I’m sorry if I’m too clingy. I always need your hands to hold me when the nights are cold. I always need your hugs to ease the burden in my chest. I always need your arms to catch my tears. Your affection keeps me steady. Your whole being is my sanity. I’m sorry if it makes you feel uncomfortable. There is a string attached between us and it pulls me closer to you. You will always be comfort zone.

I’m sorry if I always want to check your phone. I’m sorry for all my doubts. It just terrifies me to think that other people can make you happier. I’m always afraid with the thought of losing you. And I know, it is not healthy. I’m not the obsessed type of girl, I just overanalyze every situation. I’m sorry for leaving you with tons of missed calls and messages when you aren’t home yet. With a high urge, this is just me knowing if you’re really okay. I always want the best for you.

I’m sorry for all my panic attacks. There are storms within me. Without knowing it, I am devastating your peace. And yet, all I need is someone who can calm my catastrophes. Someone who can fix me. Someone who can take my confidence back. Someone who can help me on forgiving myself. I’m sorry for putting this much pressure on you. You are my support. You are my backbone.

I’m sorry for being overprotective. I’m sorry if you feel like I’m caging you. I just want to keep you safe. Every day, I look forward on seeing the smile on your face. It makes me feel uneasy when you’re sick or having troubles. I want to be your best friend, the one-call-away one. I want to be your hero, who saves you from all the monsters in your life.

I’m sorry if I need constant reassurance. I don’t need your mixed signals. I need consistency. I want to feel that I am loved, treasured and embraced every single day. Even in the simplest ways, I need proof that what you have for me is real. I want to know how passionate you are. I need security and sincerity. Your loyalty is a big deal.

I’m sorry if I’m giving you a hard time. Even though I over-think most of the time, I am definitely sure that I love you.

Thank you for your patience. Having me will be tough but I know that we will make each other stronger.

I will always be an overthinker.

At the end of the day, I am certain that I will always have you.