Why All Women Should Do Porn At Least Once

Unless you’re a privileged asshole who’s been living under a rock for the past weeks, you’ve probably heard of Belle Knox, the brave and empowered Duke University student who went into the porn industry to pay her student loans. Like her, all women should do porn (at least once). Here’s 5 reasons why:

1. It’s Empowering

For thousands of years female sexuality was repressed by the Patriarchy. In some cases, to such a monumental degree that it was deemed unladylike to expose your body in public, talk about naughty deets from the latest banquet (ancient equivalent of frat parties), or have sex with multiple men at the same time. Thanks to the work of feminists everywhere and little magic pill (that I love to pop), we are now free to get reamed, humped and pumped until we pass out. Sure, we still have a long way to go, the pill is still not free, abortions are still not free and easily accessible and rape, (both physical and emotional) is still being committed millions of times a day.

Yes, the omnipresent behemoth that is the patriarchy still holds most of the control with its grubby hands, but what better way to take back the control of our own bodies and how they are viewed than to disrobe, seduce a man and get our cheeks clapped on film? To reclaim your body, your sexuality and your sex appeal is truly is a powerful way to stick it to the patriarchy, to challenge the way society views female bodies and to just live, laugh, and make love.

2. Because, The Sex

It seems like its getting harder and harder to find good men, or rather, men who can do you, good. Nowadays mother nature seems to spit out from her lush life-sheathe, mostly yucky, short, narrow shouldered, nice-guy-creeps with chippie-titties and ciggie-breath. And while these saps serve a purpose of giving us boosts of confidence and maybe a chic necklace here and there, we all agree that we need real men to take us in the fast lane to poundtown.

The men you will meet in porn are H-O-T. They are the kind of guys who won’t hesitate throw you down, call you some totally naughty and degrading, yet delish names and then like, just have his way with you. Ravish you. The fact that there’s a juicy eggplant growing in his musty downstairs garden doesn’t hurt either. You will be gasping for breath, mascara will run down your face and you won’t be able to sit for a week after a totally drooltastic scene, but then when the producers calls and asks you get ready for another lecherous scene, you’ll want to do it all over again. I mean it.

3. The Attention

Attention like is a strong , cute cocktail. It makes you giddy, dazed and you just can’t enough of it. Doing porn, you’ll get really drunk, nay, shit-faced. The cameras, the flashes, the searing eyes of the producers, it’s intoxicating. And once the video goes live, there will be an endless stream of reactions, both on and offline.

At school the cute jocks will catcall and make raunchy gestures, other girls will give you evil looks, jealous of your literally banging body and how smooth and radiant your inner thigh flesh looked in your latest ass-to-mouth scene. Waves of likes will wash against the shores of your Social media accounts and you’ll feel so special because of it. You’ll get tons of new followers on twitter, mostly creeps, but still.

You might even become as famous as Bell Knox, get paid for interviews, and become the voice of young, strong women everywhere.

4. The Experience

If you’re a fearless, young and feisty young woman in her twenties, like myself, you’ll never back down from a new experience.

You’ll meet so many bubbly new people, bisexuals, transexuals, pansexuals, polyamorous individuals (sometimes of color), you name it, and they’ll all love you for doing what you do and being who you are. You’ll never have to apologize for your choices, You’ll be showered with compliments from everyone around you. Whether it’s from the cute camera man with the goatee, the badboy set-location driver with the IDGAF attitude, you’ll always have moments when you truly feel like a princess, a naughty, nasty, little princess.

Booze and pills will cascade into your mouth and nose, all for free, without charge, gratis. You’ll dance on set in the darkest of night, naked and free, and take shameless selfies with fluids that a forensic scientist couldn’t even identify, splattered all over your empowered body. And that’s okay. Your youth is all about fun, don’t let the Patriarchy take that away from you with its greedy hands. Experience life.

Write your story. Life is your book. Every book needs a few deliciously sinful pages with a couple of questionable stains on them.

5. The Dough

Found a cute top at Zaras but the price is a bit steep? Do a girl on girl scene with that French ebony performer Shaqyaura Preuvelliegé, that you’ve heard so much about.

Want to get your hair and nails done but find yourself a little short on benjamins? Do a kinky BDSM scene and get 50-shades of paid.

Porn pays well, if you’re good. Soon you’ll have enough dough to bake bread for a whole army, (after they all run a train on you of course.) Sure, it won’t make you a millionaire over night, so having a supplementary income really helps and keeps you empowered in times of momentary disempowerment. It should be easy enough to get a boyfriend to take care of most of the bills, and if they somehow judge you for your work, they’re just being sexist, misogynist, slut-shaming assholes. Porn is not going to last forever, my advice is to get in and get out, Let yo’ racks get them stacks, and then pursue some strong more stable career in whatever prestigious fields you may wish. The world is our fragrant oyster, afterall.

Belle Knox is a role model for all young women. All the hatred she has gotten from douchebags and slut-shamers really goes to show what a repressive and misogynist society we live in. If I ever have a daughter I will encourage her to follow in Belle’s footsteps and thus attain the true and absolute zenith of empowerment.