Dear Asians, I Am Not The Enemy

Okay, so as you know, my most recent piece about Asian women dating White men went kinda viral. Now all these Asian girls are up in my grill, online and even here on the streets of Boston saying I am the racist one. This is a typical, misogynist attempt to deflect the blame from privileged White Men.

Yeah I admit it, maybe I used some stereotypes in my piece, and I apologize if you took offense, but you people are focusing on those little words more than the serious bigger picture.

We need to stop the infighting and direct our cannon towards to real enemy, The Patriarchy. You all are obviously just so brainwashed by the oppressive structures in today’s society, that your knee-jerk reaction is to attack a strong assertive, beautiful woman like myself.

You’re all just hating. I can’t really be wrong, I am studying Women’s Studies, and I’m pretty good at it. I learn about this stuff all day, so unless you have a magically superior education, I’m the authority on this subject.

Don’t shoot the passenger.

Reading all the hate mail, I got really scared because someone called “Sum Ting Wong Wi Yu” threatened to drown me in wonton soup, so I called Carly, Jenna, Kaitlin, Heather and Holly to come over to my apartment and support me. They were all totally supportive, we all put on our Lulus and Uggs and snuggled up in my bed with a few mimosas. Like, at first we were gonna watch Pretty Little Liars on Netflix, but all the girls were curious and wanted to see the hate mail that I got, so we started going through them instead. Carly, a horse-girl and Holly, a southern Belle got like especially mad and said that they had always hated you Asian girls, they were basically declaring war, but guess what, I defended you! Yeah so I must be super racist, right?

Anyway, so like, I just want to reply to some of you and convince you of a few things.

First of all, to all you people who say I can’t get a man? Puh-lease, if you had taken the time to read my previous work, you’d know that I get with tons of hot guys all the time — especially white guys. At frat parties, they’re all over me and my girlfriends, they buy me gallons of drinks and they say I’m one of the hottest girls they’ve ever seen. I have dark blonde hair, I am tall, have these piercing blue eyes and I weigh like 100 pounds. And I get asked if I model all the time, so to all of y’all who say I’m fat cow. Cut. It. Out.

You’re embarrassing yourselves because you obviously don’t know me.

And yeah well, I don’t have a boyfriend at the moment, but that’s not something I want anyway. I am young and free, I don’t wanna be tied down. I have many boyfriends because I’m a sexually liberated young woman who lives like Feminism intends women to live. You’re just sad because your conservative, Republican view of sex is preventing you from getting with a lot of super hot guys. You probably all have nice guy, boring boyfriends who can’t even do you good.

You’re all saying I’m jealous of Asian girls too. Me ? Jealous of Asian girls? Don’t make me laugh. Why would I be jealous of a group of women who are being blatantly victimized and exotified by oppressive white men and brainwashed enough to turn on the white girl trying to defend you.

No. An Asian girl didn’t take a boy I like, and no, Asian girls at my college are not more popular than me.

Some even go as far as to say I’m bitter. Wow. Just. Wow. I don’t even know what to reply to that. I’m one of the least bitter people on this side of the Mississippi, I’m young, wild, free spirited and strong. I am also caring , a moral saint and full of empathy. All I’m trying to do is to save you Asian Women from White men. I mean it.

Also, you’re saying that “If white guys are so bad , why do you want them at all?” Well believe me, I wish I was lesbian, but since I am straight I have to deal with men. White men are like the hottest in my (and most of my friends) opinion. They’re tall, handsome and have muscles. I can’t help that I’m not attracted to nerdy Asian guys and creepy Indian guys. Like how can you blame me for my personal preferences? I’m not trying to take these men away from you, you’re perfect for each other. You can have them.

Also I’m not racist. I thought you people were smart? I am anti-racism like all feminists. That’s why I’m trying to save you from racist white men’s racism. What is it about this that you don’t understand?

For another opinion on this article, read ‘Thank You, Thought Catalog, For Publishing Racist Satire’ here.

I’ve also been getting lots of messages people who say they’re currently in a WMAW relationship. You’re all saying so beautiful and happy, yeah, but how do I know you’re not pressured to say that by the White Man? If you’re such a happy couple why don’t you take pics of yourselves and tweet and Instagram under #stopWMAW? Prove Me. Wrong.

Lastly, I just want to say that Im not the enemy, I love you my Asian sisters, I love Chinese food and since I’m a techie, I love all the cool robots you make.

The Patriarchy is the enemy, I’m just Anne.