An Honest Love Letter To My Future Daughter
I pray to God that I can hear you when you are crying in your room silently – whether it is some boy (or girl) who broke your heart, you failed your test, or you are just having a bad day.
Dear Daughter,
I love you so much and I haven’t even met you. Honestly I don’t know if you will ever exist, but if you do I want to tell you a few things – I want to be the Lorelai to your Rory, not the Emily to your Lorelai.
1. I hope you get my good skin, my quick wit, and my amazing sense of humor – but I hope you never get my fear of commitment. When I was younger, I was so scared of all the bad things a relationship could bring to me that I protected myself – sometimes so much that I stopped feeling and I could not fully love. So, don’t be stupid but let your heart love, it is what it does best.
2. Believe in love. Jack froze for Rose, Noah built Ali a house – I know they are movies but someday you will find your Jack or Noah, if you let yourself. Real lives (may) have inspired these stories.
3. Don’t play with people’s feelings. It is cruel and mean, and I hope I never raise you to be someone who does not value and respect other people. But if anyone ever hurts you, I promise to hurt them so badly that they will regret they ever existed. I promise to always try to protect you.
4. I will make you go to school and college, but not expect you to be a genius. I would support school as a very safe backup plan, in case your dream to be a celebrity fails. Always have a backup plan.
5. I hope you are able to come and talk to me about anything, and I will try my best not to judge. I will talk to you as if I were talking to my younger self – because once I was your age too, and I know how it feels.
6. I am always here for you, even if you feel like you do not need me. But I promise that when you do, I will always be available. I have made you this promise and I will keep it.
7. When you feel alone and different, and you feel no one in the world understands you, remember that whichever religion you choose, whatever politics seem closest to your heart, or whoever you choose to love – I might be shocked and need a minute, but I will always love and accept you for who you are.
8. I will not try to correct my mistakes made in my youth through you. It does not mean I will let you mess up all the time, but I will let you make your own mistakes so you can learn. This is your life.
9. I promise not to live my dreams through you. I will not force you to learn Chinese, or play the violin, just because I wish I had. You are your own person, and you should choose your own set of hobbies and interests. (Though learning a new language is really smart, FYI.)
10. Live in the present. Do not plan your life twenty years in the future or dwell in the past too much. We cannot control everything and/or what our life holds for us. Don’t look for happiness, just be.
11. I will try to forge a trusting, loving, and respectful relationship with your father (whether I am with him or not, hopefully still am), so you know what a healthy relationship is – that way you know that you deserve a partner who respects and appreciates you every day.
12. I pray to God that I can hear you when you are crying in your room silently – whether it is some boy (or girl) who broke your heart, you failed your test, or you are just having a bad day. I want to be there for you to hold you, and if you need some space- I will give you that. But when you need a hug, I will be waiting.
From the person who loves you more than anything in the world,
Your Awesome Mom
