15 People On The One Thing That’s Keeping Them From Settling Down
"I married young because I was ‘in love’. It did not work out – it got messy and just made me more jaded. Settling down is not important for me and I am fine if I never settle down, I tried it already."
It was a rainy Saturday night in Chicago and I was in a busy bar on Division with over 30 draught beers. It was filling up slowly with beautiful and enthusiastic men and women, who were out to find the love of their lives, or perhaps just some lovin’ for the night. With the encouragement of some alcohol, here are what 15 of them had to say to me about why they refuse to settle.
1.
“I refuse to settle because I am better than that. I deserve someone who is good for me – that’s why some random will not do.”
-Jessica, 37, single
2.
“I haven’t settled yet because I just haven’t met the right person. I won’t settle for anything less than the right one.”
-Mike, 29, single
3.
“Well, I’m only 22 so I am really young to settle down right now. Though I wouldn’t mind, as I am with the love of my life and I know he is the one. Or at least, I think he is the one.”
-Angel, 22, in a relationship
4.
“I’m in a happy relationship right now but I want a career before I decide to settle down, so I’m financially secure and able to make more plans in life. I want it all. It’s going to take some time, but I know where I want to go in life.”
-Anna, 23, in a relationship
5.
“I live with my boyfriend so I guess I am basically settled down. I’m just waiting for the ring. Once he proposes I’m all set and ready to get married and start a family.”
-Natalie, 23, in a relationship
6.
“I’ve been married forever and I’m very happy about it, now let me get more beer. And yes, I came out alone tonight and I am going to have a good time. My wife is at home with the kids.”
-Ryan, 33, married
7.
“I’m settled now. Why do people settle? People settle because they think they are in love and then they end up having kids together. I am happy but I did not settle. Life is much more complicated than a simple cliché. I love my children and I can say my wife and I get along.”
-Sid, 40, male, married
8.
“I don’t even know what that means. And I am young and immature, I am basically a 12-year-old. When it happens it happens but it’s more important for me to party. Its P-A-R-T-A-Y, don’t forget the extra ‘A’. Lots of hot chicks here.” (Definitely the most challenging one among the group.)
-Joe, 21, single
9.
“In my younger days, I had relationship issues and just more opportunities as a single person. You should never settle. I haven’t met anyone I have wanted to settle down with yet. I guess we will see if I will meet someone and eventually settling will make sense to me.”
-Mike, 27, single
10.
“To settle you have to be with the right person. However, when kids get involved, it gets more complicated. You may not want to settle with a person, but have to for the sake of children. Then you can go out to the bars later (wink). I live with my daughter and the mother of my daughter at home. We are not right for each other but we live in the same house so things get complicated, but I date around – I just don’t take the girls home.”
-Michael, 40, in a (complicated) relationship
11.
“I have been engaged before and I do not have time right now to date. I guess I would like to date if I had time but I am just very busy. Work takes up a lot of my life. Plus, I want to make sure it’s right, whatever that means. Hopefully it does exist, because the concept of the right one is really beautiful and I hope it’s true.”
-Callie, 26, single
12.
“I thought I was settled down for almost 12 years with a family I loved, but all of that changed when she decided that she did not want to be a part of our family life anymore. So right now, it’s me and my son. I am not sure how I feel about it anymore. I thought this was the woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I wanted to grow old with her.”
-Jon, 35, recently single
13.
“I have been in serious long term relationships but never had the desire to settle down. My parents weren’t very happy together but stayed together, so maybe I have commitment issues, maybe I’m scared to end up like them. I don’t want to be unhappy like that. Thinking of being with one person for the rest of your life is romantic but scary. Maybe if I meet ‘the one’ it will be more romantic, but right now, it’s just scary.”
-Ashley, 28, single
14.
“I married young because I was ‘in love’. It did not work out – it got messy and just made me more jaded. Settling down is not important for me and I am fine if I never settle down, I tried it already.”
-Dave, 32, divorced
15.
“I have been in a relationship for two years and I am just waiting to be engaged. I’m very ready to settle but do not want to come across as clingy and needy, so I basically won’t settle down until he is ready to settle down. The waiting is hard, plus I hate how women have to wait for the men to get ready to settle and then act all excited when it happens.”
-Kathryn, 33, in a relationship
