If I Had Known This Was Goodbye

If I had known this would be our last hug, I would have held on a little tighter, a little longer.

If I had known this would be our last night together, I would have wasted less of it on sleep.

If I had known this would be our last kiss, I would have made it softer, sweeter.

If I had known you would stop replying to my texts, I would have been a little sassier in my last one.

If I had known we wouldn’t be speaking again, I would have told you the truth about my feelings for you and about the times you hurt me.

If I had known you would start seeing someone else so soon, I would have taken the long way to work, the one that doesn’t pass by your apartment.

If I had known you would turn your back on me, I would have walked away first.

If I had known that you were missing me too, I would have reached out.

If I had known that finding comfort in someone else’s arms would dull the pain for a while, I would have tried it sooner.

If I had known that it would hurt even worse the second time around, I never would have let you through the door again.

If I had known all the hurt that you bring, would I have still gone up to you in that sketchy bar with the neon sign and asked for your name?

If I had known of all the amazing adventures we would go on together, would I have waited two days to call you back?

If I had known you would leave anyway, would I ever even have said hello?

If I had known this was goodbye, I would have begged you to stay.