I’m Slowly Learning What It Means To Just Be

I’m learning what it means to simply be human. To be my flawed, unfiltered self without apologizing for what that looks like. To be a masterpiece and a work in progress all at once. I’m learning what it feels like to be both happy and sad at the same time. And how incredibly beautiful of a contradiction that is. I’m learning to be gentle with the most desperate parts of myself.

I’m learning to forgive myself for the past. To let my the past finally pass me by. I’m learning that holding onto resentment and harsh feelings won’t get me far in life, and the sooner I relinquish those feelings the sooner I will feel at peace with myself.

I’m learning how to welcome endings. Even the endings of the most beautiful things. I’m learning to let go of whatever is not meant to stay in my life. I’m learning that timing cannot and will not always be on my side. And timing isn’t always the to blame for the things that happen to me. I’m finally starting to trust that timing is leading me to the right place, at the right time. I’m learning that having a soft heart is a gift in this cruel, bitter world. It’s a gift that keeps on giving. I am learning how I can ins re others to be soft too. I’m learning that the days I struggle the most are the days in which I must love myself more. I’m learning to take care of the messier parts of myself.

I’m learning how to control my emotions. To allow myself feel things. I’m learning to stop apologizing for being emotional because having emotions makes me human. It makes me real. I’m learning the power of patience. That I must be patient with the most difficult and chaotic parts of myself. I’m learning that patience will gift me with all the power I’ll ever need in life.

I’m learning to run towards fear rather than running away from it. I’m seeing that my deepest, darkest fears are where my faith lies. I am slowly learning to welcome fear into my life instead of constantly running from it. I’m learning to stop paying attention to what everyone else is doing. I’m starting to take the road less traveled instead of the familiar path. I’m realizing that it’s okay to be different. It’s okay to stand out from the crowd. I’m learning to ditch what society portrays as being beautiful and how beauty cannot be defined.

I’m learning to quit apologizing for things that make me human. How I simply cannot control every little thing that happens to me in life. I’m learning that to live means experiencing life in its highs and lows, and everything that comes in between. I’m learning to laugh through the confusion and cry through the joy. I’m seeing that life doesn’t have to be so damn complicated.

I’m learning what it means to fully live in the moment. To quit constantly wishing I was somebody else, somewhere else, doing something else. I’m learning to focus on what I have in front of me right now. I am slowly learning to just be, whatever the hell it is I want to be in that moment. I’m learning that being me will always be enough.