Amy Shock

I recently finished reading Mindy Kaling’s book Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? She’s an all-around comedic badass so if you haven’t read it yet I suggest buying it or borrowing it from your coolest female (or male?) companion.

We were broken up when he died. Breaking up wasn’t foreign to us. I was certain we would get back together like we had so many times before.

30. When a song you loved in 1998 comes on the radio after you completely forgot it existed.

What I said: “Oh yeah! I’m sorry I’m just really out of it. What’s your name again?”

What I meant: “I’ve never met you before and you just want pity in the face of tragedy.”

The more you don’t wear makeup, the better you look without it.

When it comes to your guy friends, there’s not much you can do about their desire to sleep with you. That’s not going anywhere.

1. Try to ignore the tiny panic attack that’s telling you the rest of your day is deemed ruined and unproductive.

I’m done with thongs. At the tender age of 22 I am no longer willing to sacrifice my comfort for a tiny piece of fabric to rest way too close to my butthole.

I can’t let it go.

Distance isn’t always such a bad thing.

How did you lose it? When did you stop caring?

Okay, but what’s your definition of being absolutely ridiculous, girl living in 2013?