Amanda Tarlton

But I was still surprised. Because I thought he was different.

If you knew nothing about me, you’d probably look at that picture and think “wow she looks great!” You’d congratulate me, tell me how awesome I am, say you envied my dedication.

But I don’t want to say hi. I want to say I miss you.

Crazy is okay. You have to accept the crazy, to feel it, to sit with it as my therapist loves to say, to acknowledge it.

You don’t know his heart now. Because he tore it away from you, because you were no longer good enough to own something so valuable, because when he stole back his heart, he stole yours along with it.

“I don’t know.” Three words that sounded more like “I don’t know if you’re good enough anymore.” That sounded more like “I’ll keep you until there’s someone better.”

Stop acting like you let go of something valuable, stop giving him (or her) that power. Pick yourself up, stitch your heart back together and tell yourself everyday that this is not a loss but a win.

I know that soon enough my tears will dry and the days will be sunny again, filled with your kisses. Days like the first day of spring when suddenly the world is perfect and beautiful and wonderful again. Days that erase the dark, cold memori

The girl who falls too fast, who gives her heart to the wrong guy, who blames herself every time someone new leaves her behind. We all know that girl. In fact, we might even be that girl.

When I’m snuggled up by myself, I can pretend everything is ok. I can pretend like you’re a couple of miles away, laying in your own bed, missing me. I can pretend you’re wishing I was there.

That is the most dangerous path to go down in a relationship. That is a path that leads to months of breaking up and getting back together, months of red flags obscured by hot makeup sex and happy date nights, months of pretending like everything is fine.

You feel every emotion that you’d expect: anger, hurt, betrayal, humiliation, confusion.