Almie Rose

Do we really think we are the first generation to feel pressure to find a job, make money, be successful, meet the demands of our parents, and want more than a mediocre and conventional life?

1. Limit yourself to 2 carry-ons.

Take the worst possible outcome and imagine it until it feels inevitable. Make that your reality.

“We’re tossing Thursdays into the Mon-Wed $7.99 Large 3-Topping carryout mix!”

And you may ask yourself, well, “How did this show get here?”

Here are my smart critiques that I think would really help Wes Anderson and his movies and I’m pretty sure he would agree with me I have a really good eye for art and design.

He dances like Bambi figuring out how to walk and then getting its legs slashed in half and then saying, “Fuck this, I’m not done” and then building new legs and walking on those better than his natural legs.

Wait until he’s vulnerable. This will take about 3 – 5 years. After that, he will most likely be divorced. After that, you have a three-month window to pounce.

JERRY: You’re going to shut down some poor girl’s Tumblr? GEORGE: IT’S ALL I GOT, JERRY! ALL I GOT.

3. Be famous.

“It’s gonna be okay.” Oh, is it? Is it, future wizard? Of course you can say it’s okay, you’re not the one sobbing in a bar singing “Drops of Jupiter” at karaoke night, are you?

This baby was so hot that even David Bowie wanted him. If David Bowie wants to kidnap you, say yes. Parents need to educate their children on the dangers of being kinapped by anyone but David Bowie.