Ali Arnone

WHAT IS A 401K AND WHY DO I NEED IT? Because honestly, why wouldn’t I rather have more money in my paycheck every two weeks? HELP ME UNDERSTAND.

You say things like, “When I was younger we didn’t even HAVE GPS systems” (seriously, I just said this to someone recently).

Sometimes, the worst part of being single…is comments and actions from other people.

Things are looking promising.  Shit, you actually think this one has potential…but then, you never hear from them again.

“Are you online?”

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been “one of the guys.” In high school, I often found myself hanging with the boys; there was never a lack of testosterone or machismo surrounding me.

If you’re rude to your mother? BYE. If you don’t have any sort of relationship with your family (immediate, extended, whoever) that’s a huge red flag.

Women are amazing, aren’t they?  I am continuously awestruck and inspired by so many of the greats: ones I know, ones I don’t, and ones named Beyoncé.  

Prepare to be “city juiced.”

Just follow the easy steps seen on your favorite shows and rom-coms and you’ll snag you a man in NO time.

What do you use social media for?

Try looking cute in winter.  You can’t.  

Ugh, I need to shave. This poor doctor doesn’t need to be subjected to my winter stubble.

When you’re in the dating scene, you’re occasionally going to have to reject someone at some point down the road.

2. The Continuous ‘Are You Dating Anyone?’ Check-In.

1. Get out of my way.

Ugh, there’s a line. Let’s leave.