Pay Attention To How They Act, Not What They Say
If I could count the times I have heard “I’m different” from a guy, I would be filthy rich and probably wouldn’t be writing this article. I am a sucker for words, let me tell you. I wouldn’t necessarily say I am naive, but I do choose to believe the best in people. Some may show up, and others will show out. It will outline every interaction they shared with you and how they fell short. It’s all a work in progress. Just never underestimate the ones who always choose to be kind, generous, and completely open. We may get disappointed way too often, but we will never back down. I say it’s always better to know someone’s character straight away than wonder who they are when you aren’t around. Don’t think twice about asking questions—make sure you are on the same page and put yourself first.
Words are just simple gestures that make you feel good in that moment. Some may speak the truth while others will know exactly what to say when it’s convenient for them. It’s important to seek out who you can trust and who was never going to stick around. Usually there is some kind of routine when it comes to dating. You catch their attention, you make plans, you feel each other out, and then it’s a matter of time before they pursue you or never talk to you again. Try not to take it all too personal. There are going to be so many people that come in and out of your life that will be around for completely different reasons. Usually you don’t see it right away, but you will realize what someone’s intentions are by what they show you, not what they tell you.
It’s not easy to be your true self and expect everyone to accept it and value it. When you meet someone new, you want to show the best parts of you and hope that it’s enough to keep him or her around. You do what you can to be both genuine yet mysterious so they want to know more. Now, it can be intimidating and confusing at times, but you should know when you’re giving too much while they continue to back off. Understand that if you know they are at a different place than you, if they don’t follow up, or if they aren’t giving you the same energy, someone else will. You have to learn when it’s okay to let go of the version they gave you at first and realize what they are giving you now.
Explaining who you are to each person can make you feel like you are on repeat constantly. It can be exhausting. It’s like telling the same story to different people, yet it all ends the same way. Don’t allow them to take pieces of you every time you share your story. Try to seek out the listeners so you can actually be heard. The ones who disappear and then come back from time to time, the ones who constantly make false promises, and those that reach out when they feel lonely are never going to be “the one.” I can count on two hands the amount of people I have talked to that made me feel secure, special, and worthy and still disrespect me. So don’t ever settle for the moments or affirmations they give you, but what they choose to do with their time and your time.
I do believe that as we get older, we attract what we need at that exact moment. We group all of our feelings and everything we are working towards and pour it into each situation. It can bring so much to the surface that you might not be ready for or bring you closer to people that you weren’t expecting, and that is why we keep changing. Your perspective, your desires, and your intentions are based around everything you choose to accept and the decisions that lead you there. We all can let people in, but don’t ever be scared to let others out that you don’t have room for. We all can make excuses for why they weren’t there for you, why they didn’t meet your expectations, and why they didn’t check up on you, but don’t ignore all the signs that are right in front of you. They are always there to show you; you just have to open your eyes instead of blurring all the lines.
