To The Guy Who Let Her Wait For Something That Does Not Exist

It has been years since the last time the two of you met. She wondered if there are any instances where in your mind, you can’t stop thinking about her? About your “almost” love story? Have you ever wondered if you had chosen to have the courage to face all of what had happened…? Or if you ever regretted your choices? Your choices that were probably the cause of what you two have become? She still can’t avoid it, to find the reason why it didn’t work out. Was the problem with her? Because she was not enough for you? Was the problem with you? Because you were scared to not attain your goals in life? Or was the problem with your destinies? Because you two were not really meant to be together?

You liked her once, she loved you twice.

The first time she noticed you was forgettable — you two were still young and not serious about life—but the second time was very unforgettable. She was about to jump off a cliff when you saved her, or rather, when she saved herself because of you–because she met you. She was very depressed about what was happening in her life that time that she even criticized God about His plans for her, or if He really has plans for her. Do you know how hard it was? To give up your own life just because you do not feel accepted by the people around you? And most especially, by the people who you value and care the most?

The first time your heart noticed her was unexpected. You were, and are still, known for your kind heart, god-fearing attitude and multi talents. You are an ideal guy that whoever got your attention will be very lucky, and she never thought that she can ever be lucky. When you have confessed, she really did not know what to say because that was the first time that someone ever made a confession to her. And just what has she thought, no one will ever reject you because you are one of a kind. She didn’t reject you, but accept you and the consequences instead. But there is a conflict, a problem, a hindrance. She was in pain, and you were also in pain when you two finally meet again. She assumed that God wants the two of you to fix each other’s brokenness but, no. When she let you in, she just let herself feel much more pain; you cannot move on from the person who hurt you, while she cannot stop from moving on towards you.

She knows, and she understands that you have goals, and that she was a hindrance for you to attain those goals. But didn’t it occur in your realizations that she also has plans for herself before you came into her life? And that those plans were changed because of you? She liked you, she really liked you, and she guesses, even if you have denied it, that you liked her. Was she not worth the risk?

She chose to wait, but you chose to break her heart. And she accepted that fact because what more can she does? Did she has any other choice? She hasn’t had a choice, just like you, when you chose to throw the chance—when you chose to break her, to let her die.

You liked her once, she loved you twice, and maybe the saddest thing about that is that she liked you first, you liked her second, and she loved you third.