Alexandria Brown

I’m going to let that random guy at the bar buy me a drink and tell me how beautiful I am. I’m going to tell him that I think he’s hot too. I’m going to let him dance with me.

When you’re with someone, you both should be able to bring out the best in each other. I don’t think I brought out the best in him. I think I drained him.

I started to be able to numb myself from hearing this. Sometimes I’d just cut them off completely and tell them not to worry about it. Then I did the thing I shouldn’t have done: I started to embrace it.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Because if you’ve been telling yourself the same mantra for the span of your lifetime then changing that thought pattern is going to be the most difficult thing ever.

I know what love is because I’m surrounded by people who love and accept me. People who have taught me what it truly means to love all of your faults. They continue to support me and care for me when I’m at my worst.

Mental illness does not mean that someone’s not normal. It doesn’t mean that I can’t do all the same things that others can. It just means that some things are harder for me. All of the people suffering from mental illness look normal and are normal. Our brains sometimes are harder to silence but I want to stress again that this doesn’t make us abnormal.

You wouldn’t let me do that though. You answered my questions but then twisted it around so that I was the one doing most of the secret revealing. When I told my mom, she was even shocked when I admitted that you had gotten to see parts of me no one had taken a look at for a while.

I find that when you give most people a chance to be who they are you’re really going to like them. Everyone ultimately wants the same things in this world; love and acceptance. If we could allow everyone to be themselves then we’re going to find a lot less people who feel like they need to pretend.

I need to tell you some things I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while.

People make mistakes all the time and it’s usually OK. But for me, it’s almost like the world is ending.

Like all relationships, it takes time to get to know who you really are and what you really want.

My first love left a really deep scar.