I Just Want To Know That You Miss Me

When do you miss me the most?

Do you miss me most when you’re alone late at night? When you’re lying in your bed, looking at the empty space beside you? Is that when you think about how great it would be if I was there? How great it would be to be able to pull me into your chest and feel my body heat warm up your now cold side?

Do you miss me most when you go to our old, favorite restaurant? Do you still at that booth at the back and order the same thing? Is it when you realize that you can’t steal food from my plate and give me that cheeky smile that I love so much? Or do you push those feelings aside and forget that we ever went to that restaurant at all?

Do you miss me most when you’re waiting for those stupid text messages I’d send you every day? The ones that really had no meaning other than to make you smile. The ones that gave you that much needed break throughout the day. The ones that made you laugh so hard that you couldn’t wait to see me so we could continue laughing together.

Do you miss me most when you make your coffee in the morning? You used to have to make two cups of coffee but now it’s back to just one. Our morning ritual never felt that it was all that special in anyway but now feels like it was sacred.

Do you miss me most when you’re out with our friends? All of our friends still ask me about you so I’m assuming they do the same to you. When you raise up your glass to cheers with them, do you miss when I was by your side lifting my glass as well? Or have you already brought another girl around in order to replace the hole I’ve left?

Do you miss me most when you see my Netflix choices on our old joint account? It’s not something that’s really that nostalgic but I know when I see The Office pop up I think about the day we stayed in bed to watch as much as we could. Do you click on my old profile to see the things I left unwatched? Do you watch them and it oddly makes you feel close to me again?

Do you miss me the most on Sunday dinners with your family? The ones where I would help your mom in the kitchen and you’d be out lighting the grill with your dad. Your siblings always asking us when you were finally going to propose. Do you look to your right side, at that empty chair, and think ‘damn I wish you were here?’

Do you miss me the most when someone talks about being in love? Does it remind you how truly in love we were and how shitty it was when we couldn’t make it work? How about when you think about how our future was planned but now it’s like starting over.

When do you miss me the most?

I want to know because I know when I miss you most. I miss you the most every time I have to go to bed at night. The side of my bed completely empty. I no longer get to feel your body heat next to mine.

I miss you the most when I go to our favorite restaurant with someone else and think about how much you loved this place. It was always more your favorite than mine anyways.

I miss you the most during the day when I want to text you to tell you about random silly moments that popped up throughout my day. I miss being able to make you laugh with just a few ridiculous words.

I miss you most when I make a pot of coffee that I have to drink alone. I still haven’t gotten used to only making one cup instead of enough for two people. I don’t know if I’ll ever get that right.

I miss you the most when I’m out with our friends and they ask about you. It just doesn’t feel the same when I’m with them and you’re not there too. I love them all so much but I loved you in such a different way.

I miss you the most watching something on Netflix. It reminds of how I’d rather be at home with you than doing anything else.

I miss you the most on Sundays when I no longer get to be a part of your family dinners. I miss being able to hang out with your mom and laugh at you and your dad. I miss them but not as much as I miss you.

I miss you the most any time I think about love. Any time someone brings love up. Any time I read something about love. As soon as love is mentioned, you’re the person I think about. I miss being in love with you.

I miss you the most in all of those random moments. I miss you the most a lot of times throughout my day.

Although I miss you, I know that we didn’t work out for a reason. I know that there was a point for us meeting and for us not working out. So thanks for giving me something to miss and for teaching me what love is.

I’m always going to miss you so I hope in some moments you miss me too.