9 Truths About Being In A Jewish Youth Group

1. You know so and so’s sister’s boyfriend’s cousin’s friend from Boca.

It’s Jewish Geography, people. Between the international events you’ve attended and the people you meet throughout your youth group, you have at least 3 mutual friends with someone from each state.

2. You tell people you went to “camp” this summer so you don’t have to explain what a Jewish summer program is like.

If you say you spent your summer at a “leadership program” or a “Jewish identity seminar”, people would think you’re lame. Camp is an easy and almost accurate description of how you spent your summer: outdoors, bonfires, and sneaking out to hook up.

3. It’s nearly impossible to wear a shirt from youth group without a non-member asking what it means.

AZA. BBG. NFTY. USY. BBYO. KJASBJKNFAJSFHI I guess I just won’t wear this shirt out in public.

4. You feel animosity towards all other Jewish youth groups. Nothing personal, but yours is better.

When joining a youth group, it’s basically an unwritten rule that you MUST hate all other groups. Despite efforts to form coalitions between groups, there will always be a secret hatred. And if someone from one group tries out another, they can forget coming back. They’re basically a traitor.

5. If you haven’t been to Israel yet, you’re basically an outcast. (And if you have, you don’t shut up about it.)

Israel comes up in nearly every program or discussion. Hearing about it from everyone else makes you want to go, and once you visit the Holy Land, you’ll never stop talking about it. Sabra Hummus has NOTHING on authentic Israeli hummus, and praying during services isn’t quite as special as worshipping at the Western Wall.

6. Conventions are basically an excused absence from school, a sleepless weekend, and an excuse to make out with an NJB (Nice Jewish Boy).

A weekend away from your parents, being surrounded by your best friends, AND leaving school early? Sounds like a win-win-win. (And so is meeting your future husband).

7. If you were in a Jewish Youth Group, you would have known what NJB meant without an explanation.

You would have also known that that NJB you THOUGHT was nice, was just an asshole like all of the rest of them. So much for the wedding.

8. You have absolutely no idea how to explain it to an outsider.

“It’s, um, a youth group but not weird. It’s kind of like a high school sorority/fraternity but not really. It’s hard to explain…”

9. It’s never REALLY over once you graduate.

You may have left high school, but your newsfeed is still full of pictures from conventions, and advertisements to register for the next event. It never leaves. Ever.