Your 20s Are For Choosing Self-Love Over Almost Love

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else – means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.” – E.E Cummings 

I used to think by 25 years old, you should have your shit completely together. I used to think by 25 years old, you should have a better understanding of what career path is meant for you. I used to think by 25 years old, life becomes less about finding yourself, and more about finding “the one”. I used to think by 25 years old, you should have already met the person you’re destined to spend the rest of your life with.

Boy, was I wrong. 

The term love has so many different meanings to so many different people. For some, it’s an emotion; for others, it’s a physical act; for most, well, we’re still trying to figure that out.

What I do know about love, is that it is not something that should take away from your own individual passions. It is not something you should yearn for in order to feel wanted or accomplished; to make you feel complete or whole. It is not needing to be with or share every waking moment with someone else; taking away from the ability to pave your own path of exciting & unique experiences; taking away from the ability to navigate through your own life as your own person.

What I do know about love, is that it should not keep you guessing, wishing, or questioning. It should not be jealous or boastful. It is not a shared identity. It is not guaranteed. Love has no timeline; it has no expiration date. Love is not for one person, and one person alone. To only be able to share love with one person, is to not be willing or able to share love with anyone. Love is not something you can aim — it is not a target one can throw a bullseye, hit a home run, or catch a hail mary for. Love is not addiction or infatuation. Love is not just one thing.

What I do know about love, is that it is kind — it is supportive and aware; thriving through shared and opposing interests and passions. What I do know about love, is that it is selfless. It is allowing, rather than seeking. It is letting go, rather than grasping. It is healing; it is healthful; it is genuine and natural. What I do know about love, is that it is living life on the pitcher’s mound in the center of all the action, or tackling what’s to come in life as your own Safety. Love is putting you and your passions at the forefront in pursuit of happiness and gratitude.

Love is the ability to face your personal fears. Love is taking a chance; adventuring through the road less traveled. Love is the ability to have the confidence to conquer this life and its series of events. Love is finding passion, courage, and bravery through overcoming each triumph, failure, and setback. Love is fully investing in your ambitions. Love is passionately compassionate — it is something to be shared with yourself, with friends, with family, with strangers, with places, with things, with this world.

What I do know about love, is that it is just one part of life.

There are over seven billion people in our world — over seven billion individuals searching for — finding their greater purpose; diving into unexpected passions and journeys; becoming who they’ve aspired to be; finding love in unique ways, in a variety of forms. There is more to life than love; there is more to you than love; there is more in this world for you than just love.

There is more to life than finding it, there is more to life than keeping it. There is so much more.

At 25 years old, it’s okay to still figure out how to get your shit together. At 25 years old, it’s okay to continue to learn, experience, and find what could be right, or wrong, for you. At 25 years old, life should become a playbook for simply living your best version; your own unique version. At 25 years old, self-love becomes more cherished than any other form of love.

Your 20s are for choosing self-love over yesterday, today, and tomorrow’s almost love. Because when you come face to face with self-love, you find love in its purest, most honest form — in every way one could imagine possible.