First of all, I get zero work accomplished whatsoever. I don’t understand how sex is something men get out of their system so that they can focus. It has the opposite affect on me: good sex makes me totally useless at everything else.

When my boyfriend is at work I fantasize about giving him head. I think about how next time I’m not going to make him cum so quickly. I’ll make him hold off, make a production out of the whole thing.

I think about the opportunity I missed to kiss his thighs. The strong and milky white ones. And how I’ve never been particularly attracted to someone’s thighs before.

I think, I’m going to lick his shaft, the anterior part where he is least sensitive and watch his face to see if it drives him crazy that I won’t just put the damn thing in my mouth. I think about sucking on his balls because his whole body convulses when I do that. I think about how I want it to rest my lips against him and make it feel like an eternity before I open up.

I think about how sexy his body hair is, and how gross that same amount can be on some other guy. Once you really like someone, anything can be sexy.

I suppose I could think about getting fucked or what his hands feel like when they are on me, or the bruise I left on his arm because I was cumming too hard and my brain couldn’t connect with my body long enough to say “don’t grip so tight.”

But what I really can’t stop thinking about is what your face looks like when I make you cum.

A close second is the way you look when you’re about to kiss me. Or when you want me to kiss you.

Or the way your body tenses when I suck on your ears and you don’t like to make any noise but you let out a little “oh”.

I think about the time you came in from the cold and you couldn’t stop shaking no matter how much I kissed you. So we stopped pretending we were going to make dinner and got into bed.

When it’s really good all my lists stay in tact. Each item unchecked because my brain is foggy and I am giddy and I know that a lot of bad things happen in life. So all I want to do today is let the giddyness be overwhelming and replay everything over and over.

I’ll make new to-do lists of parts of your body I haven’t kissed enough.

And the things I want to tell you about the way you make my body feel.

I think “what did I used to think about all day long?” And then I get my phone and see when we can do it all again.