The whole point of sexting is that it’s supposed to be fun and scandalous. It’s the anticipation of something you want and can’t have. Personally, my favorite time to sext is in the morning when I wake up because my boyfriend is already at his office and I know he’s going to see the Snapchat notification and be dying to find a time and place to watch it. And then he’ll actually see it and feel things he won’t be able to act on for hours. By the time we see each other we’re both keyed up and dying to touch one another. Actually, it’s gotten us into the weird (but really fun) routine of trading oral as soon as we see each other and then talking about our days, making dinner, doing the usual end of day things afterwards.

If you’ve been together a long time, chances are you are spending Thanksgiving with them. If that’s the case, here’s a guide for having discreet sex at your parent’s house.

However if you’re single or seeing someone new, don’t waste the opportunity to turn a mundane family event into something that pushes you both to the edge of anticipation and unable to wait to see each other again.

Start when he has downtime

Sexting is all about the build-up. You need to set the tone for the day before he’s in the thick of it with his family. If you know his dinner starts at 6, for instance, send your first sext at 5. Make sure he goes into his day with you on his mind. Send him a snap of you dressing for your dinner, or just tell him “I don’t know why because there’s nothing sexy about this holiday, but all I can think about this morning is how bad I wanna get you off.”

Don’t rely on him responding to feel good about yourself

That said, family days can get crazy or they can have a ton of downtime with your phone and you don’t always know how it’s going to be in advance. If he isn’t responding right away, don’t get your feelings hurt and let it ruin your day. Maybe he’s out tossing a football in the yard with his little cousins. Maybe his mom is making him help with the turkey. You don’t know what’s going on on the other end of the line so focus on the pleasure you get from teasing him and doing something a little naughty at whatever family house you’re at.

If he is responding, make sure your sound is off when you watch his snaps.

Write the perfect text

The perfect text really depends on the person receiving it. What kind of relationship do you have? Have you already slept together? Are you trying to tease them subtly or explicitly?

I did a quick as of some of my guy friends to see what the best text sexts they’ve ever received were:

“I want you inside me”

“I’m sorry if this is too much, but I get wet any time I think about you.”

“Can you do that thing you did to me again? I swear I couldn’t remember my name for like 30 minutes”

“All I can think about right now is you inside me”

“I swear to god I had the sexiest dream of my life about you last night and if you don’t act it out with me in the next 24 hours I’m going to combust.”

“I’m really worked up today, can I stop by on my break and give you a BJ?”

“I can’t believe you made me work the last 3 hours of my day with wet panties”

“I want you to blindfold me and then cum wherever you want to”

“Why is the only thing I can think about today the way your face looks when your dick is in my mouth?”

Don’t underestimate the power of video

Sending stills in Snapchat is the easiest thing to do. You can find a great angle, take the picture and be done with it. Video can be awkward because you have less control over how the finished product looks, plus, what are you supposed to do? You’re smiling for a few minutes or just moving the camera over a body part or two. It doesn’t feel natural.

BUT videos are SO much better! It makes you feel like you are right there with the person. It’s much more enticing and hot. And when you see a video of someone, you never think it’s weird or awkward the way you feel making it.

Bathrooms (with locks) are your friend

You can spend most of the day teasing through text or sending PG Snapchat stills with x-rated text overlays. But every once in awhile you need to break it up. Sneak off to the bathroom and capture the goods on camera. The fact that you’re sneaking off to send him these pics when you’re supposed to be a good girl and helping out with whatever family stuff will drive him crazy.