The 9 Nastiest Things I’ve Said To My Boyfriend That Got Him Off Immediately

When it comes to sex, there’s nothing quite like thinking you’re doing one thing and then taking a sudden turn into an even hotter territory. That’s why I love dirty talk, you can say anything that pops into your head in the heat of the moment, the less you think about it, the better. Plus, you don’t even have to **do** any of the things you are saying, you just have to say them and act like it’s the hottest thought you’ve ever had in your entire life. And it gets your partner hot because they’re thinking they are this rockstar lover who inspires this new height in your dirty creativity.

These are some of the lines that have turned a completely normal sex session into some of the most exciting memories I have of our relationship. (For the lines my boyfriend is used to get me off, read this one.)

“You’re going to make me come”

Of course from the minute you start having sex you’re telling guys you’re going to come. It never gets old, because, come on, but it does feel exciting to switch it up every once in awhile. He told me he felt revved up by this one because it was phrased as if the whole act was out of my control. He was fucking me and the orgasm was an irresistible outcome of that reality.

“Fuck me, Daddy”

This was after he told me it would be hot. I don’t know if this is a good idea to spring on a guy mid-sex. Unless it’s a one-time hookup and it would turn *YOU* on, then go for it and see what happens.

Anyways, he told me he thought it would be hot and so everything I said the entire night was “_______, Daddy” and each and every time I could see the reaction in his face. It was brand new territory and I extra excited by the vulnerability of saying something so dirty, coupled with my boyfriend’s intense enthusiasm — it’s one night I always think about when I’m sans boyfriend and trying to get myself off.

“Will you come on my face?”

When we started dating, it came up at a boozy late dinner that he had never done this before. He didn’t say it, but I knew he really wanted to. It’s so ubiquitous in porn, and how ubiquitous can a sex thing be before you want to try it? So I waited a few weeks and then I phrased it as if it was an urgent request (and it kind of was, I like it). I think this was the most immediate and eager response I’ve ever gotten from him.

“Cum inside me”

The first time after we stopped using condoms. It was incredible.

“Please let me come?”

This was well after the Daddy thing when I realized he got super turned on by dominating me just a little bit.

I liked the way this one felt when I said it. It was like the orgasm wasn’t work, it was just sitting there waiting for him to give me permission to have it. Maybe it turned the whole thing into a placebo effect but insisting that he had this magical ability really did make me come, when he said I could. And of course, he loved feeling that powerful or skilled or whatever it takes to get someone to orgasm on command.

“You’re playing with fire”

I said this absent-mindedly when I was laying in bed reading and my boyfriend was reading emails on his phone and tracing his hand up and down my thigh. I don’t think he realized how much it was turning me on and I was just warning him that he was starting something he needed to finish. But the thought that a fairly innocent touch (I was still in my dress from the day) could have that effect was a big aphrodisiac for him. Things immediately got dirty.

“I can barely walk”

Men fucking love making you sore from sex. I’m not sure if it’s some kind of latent misogyny but I can also admit that a small amount of soreness can be fun. Every time you get a little twinge of pain you also remember what it’s from and smile in whatever public setting you’re in because you have a secret: you’re having really hot sex.

This phrase sent as a text in the morning is like a talisman for good sex that night. Even if you don’t have plans to be together you can’t just walk around all day thinking about a girl going through her day sore because you fucked her so good and not want a repeat performance. Make sure to use extra lube, though.

“I can be as loud as you want”

This is when we had rented a cabin in basically the middle of nowhere and one of the things we had been excited about was the lack of normal sex noise constraints of city living. No matter where we went, there’s just nowhere in city limits to let completely loose. There are always other bodies and ears near by to be cognizant, if not respectful, of. This was his clue that it was on — there was no reason to have inhibitions out here.

“You get me so fucking hot”

Guys like a confidence boost just as much as we do and the golden rule of good sex is that the better you make someone feel about the sex, the better it ends up being. I usually say this around the edge of foreplay when I can handle anymore touching and teasing without his cock being inside me. I love making sure he knows it’s about him. It’s not just random sex, he is the one getting me so uncontrollably turned on I can’t be held responsible for what comes out of my mouth or what my body does. I’m in it to be in the moment and respond to the way he makes me feel.