Adrien Field

I wondered, was I being shallow by going out with a wealthy older man who could afford to lavish me with things or the opposite by dating a man to whom I wasn’t attracted physically but engaged me intellectually?

Gay men are singlehandedly propping up the waxing, gym, and tanning industries. There is a culture of physical perfection that is pervasive among men who sleep with men. With lesbians, looks count for a lot less.

You need to let go of the attachments, the guilt, the dream to which you held so tightly. This is a time of grieving, of despair over what you could have done differently, what you wish you could change.

You learn not to be clingy.

Since he’s so easy to be around and asks for nothing, I wanted to please him, to make him happy, the same way I feel towards my dog — which is probably the closest thing to love I’ve ever felt.

“It’s sort of ironic,” he said. “It’s safer to be with someone like me, who knows their status and is on medication than someone who doesn’t.”

She furtively tries to set him up with another member of her gay posse, which produces disastrous results, quickly learning that gay man + gay man is not a simple recipe for success (or sex).

An older man can teach you about life and love, giving a vision into your own not-so-far-off future.

While others flock to the Eiffel Tower, I’d rather take Eiffel’s tower. Keep your Big Ben and give me a night with Ben. I’ll pass on visiting the Taj Mahal to hook up in the Taj Hotel.

What if we could take the pressure and expectation out of dating and just look at the experience as a chance to meet someone new, potentially make a new friend and maybe have a little fun in the process?

Selfishness is not a valid reason to hold onto someone whose genuine feelings will never be reciprocated. Better to send them on their path so they can find someone who feels the same way about them as they do about you.

The paradox is that the people who crave love the most, who bemoan their singleness, are usually the least adept at accepting love.