Adrien Field

I see groups of friends on Facebook, smiling together in swimsuits at some beach house and know that will never be me. I’m not a team player and my identity feels lost in a crowd. I wonder to myself whether those smiles are genuine.

A psychic once told me that a soul mate doesn’t have to be a lover – it’s anyone who comes into your life and changes its course.

When I was faced with my business failing last year, I questioned my self worth and what I want meant to do in this life.

I want to grab it, squeeze it, embrace it.

To be a real free spirit requires more than a wardrobe of linen smocks and Birkenstocks.

The inner search requires quiet; it requires space and detachment, all things which are antithetical to New York life.

Rather than cultivate inner awareness, people become fixed on the exterior, trying to cobble together an identity inspired by Instagram and purchased in the department stores.

It would have been impossible to imagine only a few years earlier. You were so sure of yourself, of your destiny. You knew that you had the talent and the authenticity to be successful. But another birthday arrives and you take stock – you are still struggling. How could this be?

When we over-schedule ourselves, plan for things days, weeks, and months in advance, we are eliminating the chance for spontaneity. We become automated versions of ourselves, shuffling mindlessly from one destination to the next without any time to process what we’re experiencing.

We have an unhealthy relationship towards our bodies. We are never thin enough, or muscular enough, tall enough or round enough in the right places. On social media it is unacceptable for a woman to be topless but it is acceptable to perpetuate unrealistic standards of beauty using photo editing.

Becoming truly religious is an immense undertaking – that is why so few ever become enlightened beings.

You become no one when you cast off the labels imposed upon you from birth by the society. You are no longer a Christian or a Jew, you are no longer an American, no longer gay or straight, you just are. The boundaries between you and everyone else fall away. We are all part of the same existence.