Abby Heugel

I’ve heard depression described as walking towards a sunset. You can see the light ahead of you, but even when you’re basking in the warmth of the light, you’re always aware that the darkness isn’t more than a heartbeat away.

No one will ever accuse me — a Leo — of being shy, and if they did, it would take approximately .02 seconds for me to set them straight. Call it confidence. Call it ego.

In everyday conversation, you know how awkward it is when a person’s response to your casual and rhetorical question “How are you?” produces a laundry list of overly revealing complaints about life.

There are no clocks on the wall, no windows to let you gaze outside and I wouldn’t be surprised if they pump oxygen throughout the store to keep you alert.

No matter what your opinion is on shopping, there’s one thing we can all agree on — the parking lot is a paved hell.

I have nothing against makeup and I’m not trying to make a statement by not wearing it.

Uncushioned chairs and benches hurt your buttbone.

Having a short haircut comes with a lot of perks, like not having a shower drain filled with hair and being able to save money on expensive conditioners.

I get my couch. My couch gets me. But there are a few misconceptions and/or disadvantages to living alone that I want to sort out.

The first is obvious in that you should never venture to the superstore wearing khakis and a red polo—the Target uniform—unless you’re prepared to answer questions from shoppers about where to find moisturizer or Archer Farms cereal.

You don’t have to check your phone right this minute. Remember how life was a decade ago? Whatever it is can wait.

1. Thou shalt not leave your cart in an empty parking spot.