• Things My Five-Year Old Has Said, Which I Have Quoted on Twitter

    Things My Five-Year Old Has Said, Which I Have Quoted on Twitter

    Eli is my five-year old son. He has an older brother, Slade. Slade writes fiction and spends a substantial amount of time on FlipNotes, so he rarely says anything worth quoting. Eli, on the other hand, has unknown goals and will say things that I feel other people could relate to, so I occasionally quote…

  • Guide To Vague Relationships

    Guide To Vague Relationships

    A vague relationship basically feels like a real relationship, only it’s harder to tell when it’s okay to cuddle. Vague relationships can last anywhere from 0 to 8 years, but are usually just a few months long. You can have a vague relationship with your co-worker, your friend, your friend’s brother, your brother’s friend, your…

  • How I Met Your Mother Is Really the Anti-Friends

    How I Met Your Mother Is Really the Anti-Friends

    He falls in love with Robin at first sight, foolishly tells her so on their first date, and then makes the dumbest lovesick moves to get her. He’s neurotic, obsessive, nerdy, and a little more into her than she’s into him. So far, so Ross. But unlike Ross, who was genuinely nice to a fault,…

  • 20 Memorable Quotes from Grey Gardens

    20 Memorable Quotes from Grey Gardens

    Little Edie: “There are some nice people in the world, you know, I just don’t happen to be related to any of them.” Big Edie: “The cat’s going to the bathroom right in back of my portrait. I’m glad he is. I’m glad somebody’s doing something they want to do.”

  • Not Your Father’s Africa: 6 African Up-And-Comers To Watch

    Not Your Father’s Africa: 6 African Up-And-Comers To Watch

    “The problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete,” said Nigerian author Chimamanda Adichie in her popular TED talk “The Danger of a Single Story.” And indeed, the stories about Africa are incomplete.

  • I Was Masturbated At

    I Was Masturbated At

    Apparently some guy thought an awesome way to spend a Wednesday night was to hang out in the dark, pants down with wiener in hand, and wait for some girl to walk by so he can make a loud production out of touching his privates.