25 Movies That Would Be A LOT Shorter If The Characters Just Did What The Fuck They Were Told
Answers found on Ask Reddit
1. “Coraline. Bobinsky said, ‘Do not go through the little door.’ She should’ve listened.”
2. “Labyrinth.
Babysit your brother.
*main character doesn’t go on a drug trip for 2 hours*”
3. “First Blood would just be a movie about a Vietnam vet taking a walk if Brian Dennehy didn’t pull a u-turn and give Rambo a hassle”
4. “John Wick.
‘The car’s not for sale.’
‘Okay, cool. Just asking.'”
5. “Oblivion. They would have lived in ignorant bliss.”
6. “Skyfall.
‘Bond you are decommissioned.’
‘Aight imma head out.'”
7. “The Cabin in the Woods
The ‘Harbinger’ warns them to turn back, so they do. The end. Except that still probably means everybody dies.”
8. “Star Wars: Luke just stayed home with his aunt and uncle, gets burninated.”
9. “Mary Poppins. If the kids were well behaved, Katie Nanna would have never left, and so there would have been no need for the charming and magical nanny to arrive.”
10. “Frozen.
Trolls: Your daughter will be fine. Don’t be fearful of her powers, because fear leads to destruction.
Parents: We understand. Also even though Anna lost her memories of Elsa’s powers, keeping them away from each other for literally no reason would be just cruel so they can continue to play together so long as we set some ground rules to ensure safety.
The End.”
11. “The Truman Show (the movie) would be much shorter, while The Truman Show (the show) would enjoy many more seasons of high quality programming and blockbuster ratings.”
12. “The entire Bourne Identity series. If he just shot the guy on the boat he would never be in that mess that he got himself into.”
13. “Breaking Bad.
‘I can pay for your cancer treatment.’
‘Oh thank you you’re the man’
The end.”
14. “The Exorcist/Ouija/any and all films involving a Ouija board.
‘Don’t play with Ouija boards.’
‘Ok.'”
15. “Not necessarily a movie, but Hamlet. If he just killed the uncle that he hated, who banged his mom, and who ghost dad told him to kill, Hamlet wouldn’t have died (or like, almost everyone else) or screwed over Denmark.”
16. “The Matrix.
Neo: Sorry, I think you got the wrong number click”
17. “Definitely the first Cars movie. If McQueen decided to listen to his team and went into the pit stop, the movie would be already over.”
18. “The Breakfast Club.
If they did what they were told in the first place, no Saturday detention.”
19. “Pet Sematary.
‘Cat’s dead. Don’t bury it over there. The ground’s sour.’
‘OK.’
:Roll credits as they show them driving to the animal shelter.:”
20. “The Lion King.
Mufasa: your uncle is bad. Don’t listen to him and stay away from the shadowy stuff.
Simba: okay dad.
Boom. Nobody dies. Nothing bad happens. Simba obeys Mufasa. Scar dies cause he’s a hoe.”
21. “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.
Just go to school, Ferris.”
22. “Lord of the Rings. Movies wouldn’t have happened if the original character just threw the ring in the fire.”
23. “Batman Vs. Superman.
‘Bruce, am telling the truth.’
‘Oh, ok.’
Lex Luthor gets his ass handed to him
The end.”
24. “Jumanji.
just realize from the drums in a tiny box that the damn game is cursed and leave it alone you fool.”
25. “All the Harry Potter movies.
Everyone: Harry no!
Harry: Harry YES.”