15 Ways One Can Reuse Their CVS Receipts

We’ve all had to run down to CVS-when Walgreens is closed-to get a few things. When you get up to the register and pay, you are then entrusted with a receipt so long that it could possibly have the Declaration of Independence printed on it. Who’s to say? I don’t think anyone has ever read an entire CVS receipt in the history of mankind. Also, we live in a time where no one eats peanut butter without reading the ingredients first. So, this is saying something. I brainstormed the following ideas to put these scrolls to use while in the shower:

1. Table runner

2. Rat pashmina

3. Rat trashcan fire kindling (rat newsies?)

4. Rat sleeping bag (pretty much anything rat-focused, CVS is really missing a target demographic here)

5. Bandeau for a mummy (Is the p.c. term mummet?)

6. Painful toilet paper

7. Make-shift gauze if one got temporary amnesia while in said CVS and forgot real gauze

8. Beauty pageant sash (miss tampax?)

9. Napkins that will simultaneously papercut your face and smear your face with an ink stache

10. If you have enough faith, a tightrope

11. If you don’t have enough faith, use your coupon on said receipt for an all-over body wax kit. (doing your own waxing will cause you to find faith and grip it until the dust falls through your fingertips)

12. Make a skinny Eno

13. Poke two holes and make a hamburglar mask (If you’re the president, skip this step. You don’t need the mask. Your eye spray tan lines do the job.)

14. A ruthless person would use said mask to rob the Rite Aid across the street but spare them. They’ve been through enough.

15. If all else fails, you could always recycle your receipt. But, that is lame. Recycling is not lame. The lack of creativity is lame.  Think outside of the recycling bin.