I Am Trying To Love Him Like A New Doll

I’m trying to love him
like a new doll
a new doll that wasn’t left
to have an abortion alone
because her boyfriend wouldn’t sell one of his guitars to buy a plane ticket
left for being too much
for 10 years
by different faces and names
left by father who made a choice that one daughter was enough
I’m trying to love him like the women who were never dropped on their hearts as
little girls
the ones who had nice boyfriends
who showed up on time
and opened the door
I’m trying to love him like the confident woman
who knows her worth
and sees a line of men around the corner waiting for her
so she doesn’t stay up at night anxious and afraid that he will leave her
for the flip of blonde hair from another woman with brown legs like honey
I’m trying to love him like the light that I am
that I know that he sees

but sometimes all I am is the doll that was dropped
broken
and left on the ground.