Thank You For Making Me Realize What I’m Capable Of

You’re the one that put yourself in a position to lose my respect. You play the victim so well, but I would never have given up on you — I’m not one to give up on people. I’ll continue to give them chance after chance, no matter what it is that I’ve heard about them. But you? It’s almost as if you’ve sucked the empathy right out of me.

I no longer have the desire to help others. I know that this is a part of me that will return, but as of right now, you have reminded me why it’s gone. You weren’t the first person to take advantage of me, and I’m sure that you won’t be the last. Every bit of disrespect that you toss in my direction causes a hindrance in another situation.

While I was growing up, I would watch my grandfather help people. He would love everyone he met, and he still shows that kindness and compassion to everyone. You? You took that away from me. It’s almost as if you took my innocence and naivete away, too. Again and again I have to remind myself I was trying to help. I wanted to help you, and I wanted to see you succeed.

You took away that desire. I have no ill will towards you. I do not want to see you pained or suffering, but I no longer care to see your success. I no longer care if you accomplish your hopes and dreams. My wish now is that you become a better person. I hope that you can see the kind of person you are and that you feel the disgust that I feel when I look in your direction.

I hope that you can see the disappointment in my eyes the next time that you look at me — and I hope it cuts you to the core. My love, goodwill and kindness has been replaced with nothing but frustration and disappointment, and I want to thank you for that. Thank you for showing me yet again that not all friendships are two sided.

Thank you for showing me the truth again. I was willing to ignore the fact that I’ve been burnt so many times. I thought that maybe you would be a unique case. I thought that maybe you would be something different, something new and refreshing. With your desperation for help, your need for it, I thought that you would be something different. You never were.

You came in and at first, it was almost as if things sincerely were different. I appreciated you being around. I cared about you. My guard was slipping and I trusted you to be different. That’s when everything turned around. It was a one-eighty and you became a different person. Maybe you became the truest version of yourself. My guard slipped, and so did yours.

Everything in your life has always been a game, has it not? And now it’s officially game over. The game has come to an end. You can find your own savior. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. This time around, I’m going to protect myself. I will not be taken advantage of again. I will not allow myself to be put in another position with false friendships. This time around, I’m saving myself.