To The People I’ve Hurt

I’m sorry that I put my dreams and desires ahead of anyone else. I’m sorry I didn’t fully understand the consequences of my actions. I’m sorry that I didn’t make the right choices. Most of all, I’m sorry that the choices I made came at the expense of your feelings.

I’m sorry that I didn’t envision how you’d feel. I’m sorry for the sleepless nights spent with tear-stained pillows. I’m sorry for the confusion cluttering your mind as to how someone who claimed to care, could hurt you. I’m sorry for the weight I’ve added to your shoulders that made your heart heavy. I’m sorry for the fears I’ve added in your brain, feeding the worry that someone might hurt you in that way, again. I’m sorry that I’ve made it harder to trust.

I’m sorry that I wasn’t old enough or strong enough to make choices that didn’t break the heart of someone else. I’m sorry I hadn’t experienced enough pain of my own, to truly know how it would feel to be hurt. I’m sorry I can’t take it all back.

When I was a child, my mom told me: “I’m sorry means you feel bad for what you did, and it won’t happen again.”

I can’t change anything that I have done, but I have learned from everything I have done. I am devoted to making better choices. I cannot promise you that I will be perfect, but I can promise you that I will always put myself in your heart and mind. I promise that I will never hurt you the same way, again.

My mom also told me, when someone apologizes not to say “It’s okay.” She told me to say “It’s not okay, but I forgive you.” I know it’s not okay, but I hope you’ll forgive me.