This Is How You Will Feel When You Lose Me

At first, you will feel relieved. No more call or texts, no more obligations. You will experience days and nights to do whatever you want. You won’t have to pick up your dirty clothes from the floor or do the dishes on time.

You won’t need to remember dates. You will feel free—you will notice so many women and a world full of choices. You will have your fun and meet some on your ‘lucky’ nights, women who will stay the night and leave before the sun rises. You will feel the excitement you missed. You won’t care to cuddle with them.

You will realize that it is not that easy to meet girls. Some girls will want more and sometimes you will want more. You will remember we didn’t have that imbalance. You will miss the ease we used to have.

You will have your nights out with your guys and you will be able to come home whenever you want. You won’t meet a goddess every night, and as some of your friends go home to their partners you will wish you still had me. You will wish you could text me, but you will have lost your privileges.

When a buddy’s girl calls him, you will miss someone checking in on you to make sure you are okay or ask how your day was. There will be no missed calls or cute emojis to let you know you are on my mind.

Your apartment will feel different. Your cupboards will be empty because I was the one who filled them with things you loved most. Your clothes will never leave the floor and the tower of dirty dishes will keep rising. You won’t remember the last time you cooked, and you will wish you could have a home cooked meal followed by a glass of wine with a movie.

You will miss me walking around with bare feet in your t-shirt. You will miss the smell of my perfume on your pillows. You will remember the smile on your face every time you looked at me when I wasn’t looking. You will remember the way you rested your face on my shoulder as you hugged me from behind.

You thought you would feel alive and free, but you will feel alone. Your bed won’t be made and you will miss my smell lost and overpowered by the cheap perfumes of the others.

You will miss talking about your favorite movies and video games because you won’t have anyone so interested to listen and learn about you. You will wish you could see the sparkle in my eyes when you told me things that I knew nothing about.

You will wish you could put your hand on the small of my back when you are out because you will see couples everywhere doing the same. You will notice that some women look at their men with the same love I used to look at you. But I won’t be there sitting next to you listening to you tell me about beers. There will be an empty chair next to you.

You never thought you would ever admit it but you will miss walking around the neighborhood holding my hand. You will miss the farmer’s markets and the parks that I introduced you to. You will begin to realize that it took us time to be that comfortable with each other and that it had taken work.

You will miss my little quirks and habits that you used to find annoying. This is when you realize you have really started missing me. Your baggage will feel heavier because I will no longer be there with you to help you carry it.

You will wish you could take back the words you said that made me cry. You will think how selfish it was for you to ask for space from me when I loved you the most.

You will try to call. You will try to text and I will never respond. You will try to email me and ask my friends. You will want to reconnect because you will miss how you used to be with me. You will apologize for your mistakes and you will want me back in your life.

I did once love you, but I also respect myself enough to know what led you to leave me and what is pushing you to want me back.

When you let me go then, you lost me forever. It only took you a while to realize this over time. It is too late now. You never realized what I was in your life and now that I am no longer there, this is how you will feel when you realize that you have lost me.