30 ‘Guy Secrets’ Most Girls Know Nothing About

1. They like being touched

“Guys like being touched. I like it when a lady keeps her hand on my thigh when we driving, or rubbing my head when we’re laying on the couch. Pretty much just any contact. My wife is the opposite and it sucks sometimes.” — im2old_4this

2. They love getting complimented on their body

“Not sure if it’s a secret but I feel guys appreciate body compliments infinitely times more than facial features and they will possibly remember the body one forever.” — TL3490

3. They do not understand subtle hints

“We don’t pick up on subtle hints that you are interested in us. If you want to get a guy’s attention you pretty much have to either hit him over the head or strip right in front of him and rub yourself all over him.” –LodgePoleMurphy

4. They masturbate before dates

“If we’re dating and planning on hanging out tonight I’m going to rub one out in the morning just in case we have sexy time so that I don’t blow my load in the first minute.” — Dudenoob

5. They don’t like ‘the chase’

“Guys don’t like ‘the chase.’ That doesn’t mean you need to be easy, but girls who play hard to get and will blow a guy off and ignore him and shit because “guys love the challenge”, all you’re doing is probably pissing him off and making him less interested.” — YutBrosim

6. They are afraid to break down

“We’re scared to break down. Sometimes when it feels like the whole world is on your shoulders it’s scarier to think what would happen if you asked for help and no one knew what to do rather than asking for help at all.” — LegoManStan

7. They don’t bother with romance when you criticize them for it

“If we randomly surprise you with flowers or some gift for no reason, it doesn’t mean there is an ulterior motive or that we are trying to get forgiveness for something. So when you make a big deal and try to roast us with questioning, or say things like, ‘Wow, why can’t you be more like this more often?’ all you are doing is sending the signal to the man’s brain ‘Do not do the thing again that brings her suspicion on you.’ Besides, we know if it becomes expected, then it becomes a chore and we are treated as some sort of failure when we don’t do it.” — Bartholomewvanbooger

8. They only clean the bathroom when they really like you

“If you come to our house and the bathroom is spotless, including the sides and area around the back of the toilet: you can rest assured that you are well liked and high in the pantheon rankings. If the bathroom is half assed, you are low ranked and just passing through.” — SnavlerAce

9. They experience euphoria after an orgasm

“The male orgasm STARTS with cum and ends several seconds later. If you stay on the cock after we finish, we will likely convulse from what is either pain or euphoria (we don’t know which).” — Rudeirishit

10. They say what they mean

“There is no underlying message in what I just told you. What I said is what I meant.” — Whysenberg

11. They want serious relationships too

“We still get lonely and fear we  will never find someone. Like I don’t get freaked out about talking about marriage and having kids. I don’t wanna waste my time.” — Marshang96

12. They want to be spoiled

“We’d like to be spoiled sometimes.

Enjoy hearing we’re handsome.

Like hearing our efforts are appreciated.

Would like to feel secure, too.” — espressokid

13. They get turned on by swimsuit photos

“Your beach and swimsuit photos on the internet most likely have been fapping material for at least one guy.” — Cisco010

14. They really talk about ‘nothing’

“If a guy goes out with other guys, chances are when he says they ‘talked about nothing’ they actually did talk about nothing interesting. No gossip, no ‘how’s the family’, it just tends to be talking about some sort of shared interest or hobby and a lot of banter, and when you ask him I can almost guarantee that he remembers almost none of the content of the 5 hour conversation they’ve been having.” — Bibbers95

15. They like cuddles

“Being the little spoon is also nice.” — whitesugar1

16. Dude means something different each time

“The word ‘dude’ has something like 150 different meanings, depending on how you say it. It is a genderless term and is applicable in almost any situation.” — TheKevinShow

17. Their boners are not always sexual

“We get boners all the time. And no most of them are not sexual boners, we just get them. Randomly waking up at night? With a boner of course. Waiting at waiting room for your doctors appointment? Boom boner. Middle of a serious office meeting? Boner out of nowhere. It’s not always sexual.

And when we get in the kinky mood, can’t think of anything else before calming the horse.” — inkiad

18. They worry their penises are small

“We all think our dicks are small until we receive external confirmation.” — IamHaste

19. They feel immense pain when hit in the balls

“When we tell you about the pain of being hit in the balls we are not exaggerating.” — RichyBeatz

20. They masturbate randomly

“We don’t need special mood, candles, music for wanking. Usually it happens because we were scratching our balls.” — Tacarub

21. They want your help

“We love cuddling.

We love someone thinking about us too and doing random acts of kindness.

We appreciate help with things even though sometimes we may not ask for it.” — CowboyBebopCrew

22. They play around with their facial hair

“Maybe not everyone does this, but most of my friends that have grown out their beard and cut it off have made the Hitler ‘stache, only for a few moments though.” — Dudelyllama

23. They hate when you leave hair in the shower

“We take a long time to shower because…

…we’re trying to redirect the stream of water toward the clumps of your hair on the wall. Cuz that’s gross to look at. It takes a while without an adjustable shower head.” — PM_ME_YOUR_MONTRALS

24. They tell the truth about your outfits

“When you ask ‘does this outfit look nice’ and we say yes to all 13 of them, it’s not that we’re lying. It’s usually that we don’t care what you wear.” — CaptainSchmid

25. They have insecurities too

“I think it’s not often addressed that guys, just like girls, also deal with their fair share of insecurities, body dysmorphia, and pressures from society to act and look a certain way. It’s just that openly talking about it and dealing with those emotions is more shameful and less accepted.” — donpedromontezuma

26. They don’t gossip

“When guys hang out, all we do is hang out. no gossip involved (usually). If I am spending the night at a buddy’s house playing LAN, thats all we are doing. We ain’t talking about what happened at school/work/etc.” — Boxsteam1279

27. They love side by side time

“Guys really enjoy side by side time.

A lot of people have already brought this up, so I’m really just putting a name on it. It took awhile for my wife to figure it out, but side by side time is when you are engaged in an activity with someone else, but not necessarily talking to them. You bond through the shared experience of the activity, not by talking to each other.

This is why so many guys reminisce about shared experiences and tell stories about things they did together. I also happen to think that side by side time is why guys like games so much. I game online with my good friends frequently, and we rarely get past ‘how are you’ in terms of personal chat, but we all love it. Same goes for watching sports, playing boardgames, other hobbies and stuff.” — chives177

28. They feel unwanted at times

“That dating and dealing with rejection makes a lot of men feel unwanted and unattractive.” — trail22

29. They have a different meaning of fine

“‘I’m fine’ doesn’t necessarily mean i’m fine right now but that I will be and if you keep bring it up it’s going to make it worse.” — gramathy

30. They aren’t trying to make a mess in the bathroom

“We don’t miss the toilet seat on purpose or have bad aim. Sometimes the stream is hard to direct, and sometimes there’s more than one.” —bystander007