1.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective and Impossibly Attractive Women Who Were Clearly Out of Your League From Day 1 (or How to Save Money on Counselling and Long Distance Calls to Your Mommy as it Should be Painfully Obvious Why This Highly Effective Woman Left.)

2.

Tool of Titans: Why the Quality and Size of your Tools, and Yes, We Are Talking About “Those” Tools Makes All the Difference. Sorry.

3.

How to Win Friends and Influence People, Especially Human Female People Without Resorting to Begging, Pleading and Paying Them Money to Spend Time With You (If You Must Beg and Plead, We’ve Included Some Pro Tips in the Appendix.)

4.

The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem — Toeing the Line Between Unbearably Cocky and Depressingly Realistic and Getting the Girl!

5.

The Power of Non-Positive Thinking (or Why Positive Thinking is a Total Waste of Your Time as No Amount of Thinking Will Make You Husband Material so Just Enjoy Another Meal of Plain Cereal out of the Box on the Couch in Front of Reruns.)

6.

How to Stop Worrying and Start Living (The Completely Alone Version) — Because No One Loves You and We Were Kidding About the ‘Stop Worrying Part’, You Should be Worrying…a Lot.

7.

Declutter Your Mind: How to Actually Think About Nothing Most of the Time Except When in Close Proximity to Potential Girlfriends Who Ask You What You Are Thinking About As Saying “Nothing” Makes You Come Across As Boring or Like a Braindead Idiot.

8.

Own the Day, Own Your Life and Stop Weeping Like a Baby and Maybe Think About Owning Some Personal Grooming Products, Some Bathroom Cleaning Supplies and a Resume While You Are at it Too.

9.

The Pursuit of Dreams: Claim Your Power, Follow Your Heart and Fulfill Your Destiny and Become a Celibate Monk or Eunuch or One of those Bearded Mountain Guys who Live With Goats Whom Even the Most Desperate Woman Wouldn’t Touch with a 10 Foot Pole. (You’ll thank us for sparing you years of emotion anguish later).

10.

You are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life Like One in Rap Videos Full of Hot Models, Fancy Cars and Constant Wasting of Champagne. Make Irrational Thinking That Has Zero Connection to The Real World Work For You!

11.

Raising Your Spirited and Completely Fictitious Child Which is a Product of a 100% Imaginary Relationship Unlike the Real Husband and Kids She Found Almost the Day She Left You.

12.

Let the Elephants Run: Unlock Your Creativity and Change Everything By Spending a Huge Amount of Time in a Wonderful World of Make Believe Where She Actually Cared About You.

13.

The Magic of Thinking Big — How a Steady Diet of Human Growth Hormones, Pec Implants and Pitbull Ownership Could be The Answer to Finding Love in the Dog-Eat-Dog World of Dating

14.

The New You — 25 Compelling Reasons to Blow the Bank of a Facelift to Appear More Dateable!