I Refuse To Live This Life Half-Heartedly
I refuse
To sit inside
Reading books on books
On how to heal
Oh no
You’ll find me
Slowly but surely
Dismantling the walls
Built of every man I’ve ever loved
Every storm I’ve ever weathered
And survived
I refuse
To sit inside
Reading books
On how to live life to the fullest
Oh no
You’ll find me
With dirt under my nails
Scrapes on my knees
For I am not afraid
To fall
To get messy
To make mistakes
And learn from it all
I refuse
To sit on the couch
Talking and talking
about all the things I want to do
Oh no
You’ll find me
Doing
Trying
Seeking
Creating
Failing
Hard and often
And this is what I will share with you
On that couch
Over a cup of tea
And gratitude
I refuse
To sit inside
In front of the mirror
Trying to raise my self esteem
With empty words I don’t believe
Oh no
No, no, no
You’ll find me
Being
Loving
Giving
Serving
This world
With all I got
For they say
Self esteem comes from estimable acts
I refuse
To sit inside
Hiding behind books
That talk about
How to love
Oh no
You’ll find me
Running my fingers over each crack
Of every broken heart I’ve ever experienced
In awe
Of the strength
In my softness
And I will show up
With an undefended heart
Time and time again
Too brave to let my fears
Of abandonment, rejection, and hurt
Convince me otherwise
I refuse
To take myself
Or this life
Too damn seriously
For none of us will make it out alive
I don’t want
to be too careful
Or to play it safe
When there are so many
Experiences to be had
And lessons to be learned
The best
And only way I know how
By living 
