The 10 Commandments Of Having A Successful Booty Call

People always say that after a breakup, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. That’s not necessarily true. People constantly make the mistake of leaving a relationship and then jumping into another one. And if you don’t make that mistake, you make the mistake of “hooking up” with someone and then catching feelings for them. There are rules to live by to have a successful booty call. Leaving a relationship does not mean that you suddenly have to become celibate. You are free. You are a human being. You are supposed to explore your sexual desires and why not have a designated FWB? If you’re looking to do this successfully, follow the rules to the “T.”

1. Don’t choose someone you have a history with.

People always make the mistake of choosing a FWB that they have history with. I’m not saying choose a total stranger, but choose someone who doesn’t know everything about you. The last thing you want to do is to choose someone who knows all of your insecurities. When you do that, you’re setting yourself up for failure. You’re either hoping, because they know all of your insecurities, that they’ll help change what you think about yourself. You’re secretly hoping that they’ll somehow make you feel better about yourself after your breakup and that’s not what you need. That tends to get too messy and ends up being more emotionally attached than necessary. A FWB should be casual.

2. Make sure you both are on the same page.

Before you begin having casual sex, you should both have a conversation about everything so you’re on the same page. Just because you’re looking for casual sex, does not mean that you are both free to be intimate with several other people as well. If you’re looking to collect STD’s like candy, then by all means. If you’re not, you both need to come to an understanding that this is something that you two are entering into with each other, not other people. Neither of you should be having casual sex with one another and other people. That needs to be talked about before any intimacy begins. Just because you’re only having sex with one another, this does not mean that you cannot go on dates or entertain the attention of someone from the opposite sex. But again, this needs to be talked about. This needs to be something that you’re both open about in order for the casual sex to work and not become anything more. If you decide you’re going to take that cute guy at the gym up on his offer to go to dinner, then, by all means, do it. But have enough respect for the person who’s been giving you your regular orgasms and tell them! The more open you are about things, the more casual this booty call will seem.

3. Make sure you come to an agreement about emotions.

We’ve all seen No Strings Attached and Friends with Benefits. Sure, Ashton Kutcher, JT, and Mila Kunis make us believe that anything is possible, but that’s not what you’re looking for and nor is that what you need. You need casual sex with no complications. You both need to come to an understanding that if feelings begin to come into play, the sex ends. If one of you find that you want more than just sex from the other person than you’re looking for trouble. If you find that you end up being in the same bar and your FWB is talking to another girl and they look a little too comfortable and you find that it makes you angry or upset, the sex ends. You didn’t make them your FWB because you were looking for a future that included kids, a house, and a white picket fence. You were looking for something with a lot less commitment. Act like it.

4. No calling allowed. Keep it simple.

The best way to make sure things stay casual is to keep it simple. Never call. Keep it simple. Texting is the best route to take to pleasure town. This is important. Why? Because you don’t want to find yourself being that girl out at the bar too intoxicated and wanting to “cuddle.” Don’t call him for that. Go home, sleep in your own bed, and wake up with no regrets. If you find yourself doing this, the sex ends. If you don’t, you’ll realize you’re actually developing feelings, and that’s not what you’re looking for.

5. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want.

Your FWB is supposed to be benefiting from this mutual understanding just as much as you are. Be sure to be okay with asking for exactly what you want. If you’re not enjoying it, not having an orgasm, or looking to try something different, tell them. Not only will they probably appreciate the honesty, but they’ll definitely appreciate the advice as well. The more honest you are about what you want/what you’re not getting, the more successful your FWB understanding is bound to be. If you want to have sex twice a week, say it. They’ll probably be down for it anyway.

6. Don’t plan ahead.

Booty calls are supposed to be spontaneous and exciting! Of course, because of this, you need to make sure your facilities are good to go at all times. This may seem exhausting, but it keeps it exciting. When you find yourself not caring to shave your legs when they’re coming over, the sex ends. This means you’re becoming too comfortable and not shaving your legs or keeping up with your facilities means that you’re getting bored. Don’t get bored. Keep it interesting. Stay on your toes. The more spontaneous it is, the more beneficial the buildup is.

7. Throw your insecurities in the trash with your ex.

We’ve all been in relationships that probably weren’t the best for us. In those relationships, insecurities were created. It’s time to throw those insecurities out with that relationship. Now that you’re having casual sex regularly, it’s not the time to worry about how your boobs look like you’re on top. Chances are if he’s your FWB, he either likes the way your boobs look, or he’s not too worried about what they look like at that specific moment. He’s in it to win it. You have overcome a lot and it’s time you start expressing your inner goddess and appreciating everything your body has to offer. He definitely is.

8. Always be prepared.

Don’t leave it up to the guy to have the condoms. This should be something that both of you are equally prepared with. Nothing is worse than getting down to the moment and having to make a trip to Walgreens. There’s nothing sexy about walking down the aisle with tampons and pregnancy tests just so you can enjoy yourself. Be prepared.

9. Location. Location. Location.

Where you choose to do it is important. In the beginning, it should be somewhere one of you are comfortable. It shouldn’t be your bed. With just getting out of a relationship, you associate your bed with one person. You don’t want to end up thinking about your ex while you’re trying to have an orgasm with someone else. That’s just awkward. This is the time to be explorative and have fun. The couch, floor, kitchen counter, car, shower, etc. Location is everything.

10. Sleepovers are okay as long as they’re not the norm.

Are sleepovers allowed with a FWB? Shit, why not? It shouldn’t become a regular thing by any means. But sometimes, after all that work, you can get really tired. It’s okay to enjoy a good night’s sleep while sleeping next to that person. Plus, morning sex is always a possibility.