Maybe My Pain Led Me To You
By Rania Naim
Maybe I had to go through all that pain so I could understand yours. It helps relate to everything you’re saying. It helps me imagine the kind of pain you felt as a child, how it affected you and how it shaped you. Your pain makes sense to me. Your brokenness doesn’t throw me off. I understand it. I get it.
Maybe the past that I resented so much is the reason why I connect deeply with you. It’s like we were both living the same story in different ends of the world and just when you thought no one would ever read your story, someone walks in and understands every chapter, appreciates every sentence and feels every line.
Maybe the purpose of pain is for us to grow but also for us to connect deeply with others. So we can sympathize with them because we know how it feels. We’ve been there. We’ve lived through these storms before and we will always remember how much we needed kindness, love, and someone to be by our side during those hard times. Maybe my pain is the reason why I feel closer to you. Maybe it’s why I feel like I understand you better than anyone else. Maybe my pain is the reason why I know you’re lying when you say you’re fine and I know exactly what every smile of yours means. I see the pain in your smile. I know it all too well.
For the first time, you make me appreciate my pain and my story. You make me believe that these were all meant to happen for a reason. That God planted this pain inside us because he knew that one day we’d meet and the pain that normally scares people away would only move us closer to each other. For the first time, I understand why we had to get through these storms by ourselves. For the first time, I understand how broken people can make each other whole again.
Maybe my pain is not so painful anymore. It served its purpose long ago but part of it still lingers so I can feel every emotion you’re not expressing, listen to every word you’re not saying, know exactly what kind of thoughts are in your head, look deeper into your eyes and see everything you’re trying to hide.
Maybe my pain is the reason why my heart chose you because I know what pain does to people like us. It makes them stronger. It makes them more compassionate. It turns them into warriors. It makes them want to change lives. It makes them beautiful.
Maybe my pain is the reason why I see so much beauty within you when everyone is scared to even scratch the surface.