30 Millennial Instagram Accounts I Want To Create But Am Too Lazy To Manage
My life was changed recently when a friend sent me a link to “Hot Dudes Reading” and another friend sent me a link to Lorde’s onion ring account. Naturally, being a Millennial, I said to myself “I could totally do this, but better.” Here’s everything I came up with, but don’t have time to actually see through because I am also a Sagittarius. We are full of ideas that never really amount to anything…
1. Moderately Attractive Women Reading (While Crying) On Public Transportation
2. Millennials At Brunch Deciding How Much To Venmo Each Other
3. Girls Making Friends With Each Other While Waiting In Line For The Bathroom At The Bar
4. 26 Year-Olds Who Only Eat Food Typically Reserved For Children
5. Boxed Mac N’ Cheese, Prepared, And Their Definitive Rankings Against Each Other
6. Good Hair Days
7. Bad Hair Days
8. Severely Hung Over People Walking Into Work
9. Bad Insults Your Friends Make About People Who Were Mean To You In Order To Sound Supportive
10. Picture Of Pens, Paper, And Stationary For People Who Hate Technology But Love The Internet
11. Bad Make-outs At Bars
12. Good Make-outs At Bars You Stare At Just A Little Too Long And Then Suddenly Realize Your Mouth Is Open
13. Ariana Grande’s Ponytail With A Cartoon Face That Says Funny Things
14. I Photoshop Myself Into A Bunch Of HAIM Pictures And Pretend To Be Their Unknown Fourth Sister Who Is Too Cool For Fame Or Just Totally Horrible At Music
15. Kate Middleton Wearing Jeans
16. Evidence That Nicole Kidman Is A Real Life Benjamin Button And Just Getting Younger
17. Hot Uber Drivers
18. People Spilling Coffee On Themselves
19. Tourists Asking For Directions
20. World’s Worst Parking Jobs
21. People Putting On Makeup During Their Morning Commute
22. Children With Better Fashion Sense Than Me
23. All The Articles Of Clothing I Try On At Stores And Don’t End Up Buying Resulting In Absurd Amounts Of Folding For Retail Employees Of America
24. Messages I Sent From My Friend’s Bumble Account And How Men Responded
25. Inappropriate Faces I Make Because I Am Incapable Of Controlling My Reaction To Anything
26. Worst Compliments Of All Time
27. Decent Compliments That Were Poorly Executed
28. Best And Worst Of Uber Pool
29. People Falling On Ice
30. Millennials Taking Pictures Next To Expensive Cars, Boats, And Houses They Don’t Actually Own 
