Honest Answers To All Of The Questions Hinge Seems To Think I Should Answer
Where To Find Me At The Party
If I’m actually at a party and not just drinking at one of the four bars I go to and/or at home, I’m probably connected to one of my best friends talking shit about something or someone. Or, if one of the last parties I went to is any indication, I’m involved in a very tense discussion about how problematic 13 Reasons Why was with a girl who really just wanted to talk about how much she liked the main girl’s hair.
Dream Dinner Guest
Honestly no one. I kind of hate eating in front of people and that’s why I almost always suggest “just sitting at the bar” because something about sitting perpendicular to someone rather than across makes me feel less weird about it. But if I could choose someone to eat at the bar with I’d choose my best friend (awww) because he never bores me.
My Last Meal Would Be
Eaten alone.
Go-To Dish To Cook
Jesus Christ they really want to know a lot about food don’t they…
I really don’t cook anymore which is pathetic and cliché and it makes me embarrassed. If I didn’t have to do the dishes this Hungarian cauliflower soup I know how to make is pretty spectacular. But it’s really labor intensive so I honestly only make it once a year.
Worst Idea I’ve Ever Had
This? Probably this.
I Got Detention For
So many things. Skipping school to go counter protest people protesting abortion, making out with someone in a practice room, not writing a paper about the witches of Macbeth when I was supposed to. I was a bad student.
My 2016 Resolutions Were
Not kept.
Weirdest Gift I have Given Or Received
A boyfriend bought me a romper once. It wasn’t great.
Craziest Office Party
I work remotely and never get to go and have FOMO every single time.
Favorite Big Game Commerical
I’m assuming that this involves the Superbowl and truly I do not care I only watch for the half-time performance.
The Hallmark Of A Good Relationship Is
I believe that the best relationship of your life will be with someone who has the opposite opinion about pickles as you. Like for me, I hate pickles. Can’t stand them. But then my partner gets to have even MORE pickles. Win win.
What I’d Like To know About You
1) Who did you vote for?
2) How do you feel about that decision now?
3) How do you feel about pickles?
4) Have you Googled me?
5) What did you lie about on your profile?
Finish This Sentence
This is a stupid question and Hinge should take my advice and get rid of it.
The Working Title For My Memoir
Is a secret. But an alternate title was just “BITCH” all caps no punctuation.
Would You Rather
Again, don’t love this.
I’ll Never Tell My Grandchildren
A lot of things, probably.
Pet Peeves
Most things. Practically all things. But front runners are slow walkers, people who write ‘everyday’ when they mean ‘every day’, PDFs, when people hit the 1 or Lobby button on the elevator when it’s already clearly been pressed, people who don’t acknowledge their dog’s bad behavior, nail polish that chips too quickly, Uber drivers who don’t use Waze, men who feel that eye contact is an invitation for conversation, and when people add my email to subscription lists without my permission.
Fact Or Fiction
Honestly, Hinge. Cut out it out with these.
Try To Guess This About Me
WTF IS ANYONE SUPPOSED TO SAY TO THIS HINGE?!?!
You Should Leave A Comment If
YOU THINK I’M RIGHT ABOUT THESE STUPID ‘FILL IN THE QUESTION **AND** THE BLANK’ QUESTIONS
Favorite Disney Movie
In no particular order: The Little Mermaid, The Princess and the Frog, The Lion King, and The Rescuers Down Under.
My Dream Job If Money Didn’t Matter
One of Martha Stewart’s dogs. (Writer’s Note: This is my used answer on the app.)
I’d Donate A Kidney For
My dad, probably. But I don’t think we have the same blood type so that’s probably not even an option.
Fact About Me That Surprises People
I don’t like salad.
What I Wanted To Be When I Grew Up
A Broadway Actress or an Olympic Equestrian.
How My Parents Met
I think at church? That seems very North Dakota and therefore, right.
Dream Vacation
One with minimal plans, lots of free time, tons of books to read, and good beer to drink while reading them.
Most Spontaneous Thing I’ve Done
More than one tattoo.
My Happy Place
My bed.
Favorite Holiday Tradition
My best friend and I do vacations on Thanksgiving together instead of like, being at home or doing the whole dinner thing. And it’s honestly amazing.
A Life Goal Of Mine
To get day drunk with Bethenny Frankel.
Most Embarrassing Song On Spotify
I’m not embarrassed of anything I listen to? If you want to make fun of me for jamming to One Direction that is honestly not my problem.
I Geek Out On
Talking about clickbait and industry things and telling everyone why they are wrong.
On My Bucket List
Getting day drunk with Bethenny Frankel.
Why does Hinge just write the same question with different phrasing??
My Simple Pleasures
Walking with my dog, having 3 different kinds of La Croix in my apartment at all times, never making my own coffee.
Next Vacation I Want To Go On
HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE ASKED THIS 12,000 TIMES
Typical Sunday
Lounging until I get the Sunday Scaries and then having a pretty terrible sleep.
Worst First Date
It is a very long story but it involved a tiki bar, Portland, and him handcuffing himself to my roommate.
Go-To Karaoke Song
I’m a big fan of ladies from the 80s and almost exclusively choose my karaoke repertoire from their greatest hits.
My Personality Type
Heidi told me ESTP so let’s go with that.
My Greatest Strength
My ability to always be right.
I Don’t Always Streak But When I Do
THIS IS ANOTHER STUPID QUESTION
Worst Roommate Story
Too many to list on a dating app.
Worst Fad I Participated In
Do you remember those weird “bubble shirts” that would like, stretch like crazy and were somehow raised and sort of silky? Yeah, those.
I’m Looking For
Someone to be the plus one to weddings who will also try and sneak food out of the venue and back to the hotel with me.
Best Halloween Costume
I was supposed to be the Robin Thicke to my best friend’s Miley Cyrus but he bailed last minute and was Michael Phelps. The costume was still good but that was unfortunate.
Never Have I Ever
Won never have I ever.
I’m Actually Legitimately Bad At
Math. And driving.
My Childhood Crush.
Jonathan Taylor Thomas.
What Makes Me Happy
When people tell me I’m right. When I realize that I don’t have anything to do that day. When my apartment is clean. The sound of my dog drinking water. New sneakers and novelty sweatshirts.
Two Truths And A Lie
(Real Hinge Answer)
Once John Cusack asked me to sing for him and I said no. I’m a Slytherin. I’m a natural blonde.
Unusual Skills
I’m really good at guessing heights. 
