A Non-Exhaustive List Of Things That Trigger My Anxiety
Hearing noises when I drive my car. Thinking I hear noises when I drive my car. Thinking about hearing noises when I drive my car.
- Radio commercials about people with IRS debt (I have never had IRS debt)
- Any comment, positive or negative, my mom makes about my appearance
- Opening the mail
- Waiting for wellsfargo.com to load
- When the guy I’m dating texts me
- When the guy I’m dating doesn’t text me
- When my boss has unexplained absences from her office (I assume she’s talking to HR about how they are going to fire me)
- Thinking about my dog’s mortality (F-CK YOU MARLEY AND ME, I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU)
- When I look in the mirror and look worse than I thought I did
- When I try something on while I’m shopping and look hideous
- When everything I try on to wear that day look disgusting
- Looking at my moles
- Watching medical-themed TV shows
- Commercials about strange and rare illnesses I may have
- Coughing
- Hearing noises when I drive my car
- Thinking I hear noises when I drive my car
- Thinking about hearing noises when I drive my car
- Missing my exit
- Being late
- Other people’s passive-aggressive Twitter status updates that may or may not be aimed at me (unlikely aimed at me)
- People I used to respect relentlessly tweeting about their boyfriends/ perfect life inspiring me to hover over the ‘unfollow’ button
- Every day I check my bank account except the three following pay day
- Missing calls from unknown numbers
- Voicemails
- When I get a flirty text from an unknown number, because I delete numbers religiously when, if even for a second, I don’t want to talk to someone anymore
- Damien Rice
- Global warming
- Thinking about having to work for a Chinese factory in the future when America dies
- Dead relatives
- The things that are probably in my sheets unless I wash them everyday; “body soil”
- Sad looking senior citizens
- Top Chef
- Stephen King novels
- Internet poetry
- Learning of people’s occupational successes if they are younger than me/ in a dumber field (i.e. real estate)