5 Uncomfortable Lessons You Learn When You Finally Let Go Of The People Who Hurt You

1. You miss them because you miss what is bad for you, and that’s what makes them toxic in the first place

2. Loving yourself is easier without them. SO much easier.

3. It takes more time than you were with them to recover. That is where you must learn the value of patience and hope in your day to day life.

4. You feel as if the world is at your fingertips, you can do, feel, and say what you want without them being there to try and validate it.

5. You re-create lost energy within yourself, by meeting new people who treat you better. You no longer suffer the pain of caring for someone who was indifferent about you.

It’s these people that can pull you back from your dreams, from loving yourself completely, and emotional health. The ones that prevent you from filling the void you feel yourself, with your own validation, your own love and self -worth. I have realized that true happiness can’t come without us letting go of the toxic people around us.

Even if those very people are the ones you love the most, the ones you can’t see yourself being without, the ones whose happiness means more to you than yours, but you CAN be without them.

You can travel without them, you can find a passion you never knew you had without them, and you can move on to bigger accomplishments without them, because not everything should take you back to them. There will be memories that cling onto your neck like a second skin, but everything you do and are shouldn’t be everything they liked, or what they influenced you to become. 

There will be days that remind you of the nights they stayed up with you eating and talking about life. There will be days that the smallest indescribable things remind you of them without you even wanting them to. Let them be. Don’t taint them with bitterness, blame, or self-hate, because that will only hurt you. Let them be for what they are; the past.

Take away those pieces of them momentarily, and bring yourself back to who you are now after them. Not who you were, not the insecurity they made you feel like you embodied. Think about the present moment, and leave the past as a stepping stone for growth, and your future as a gift for overcoming the negatives thrown at you. Something to keep in mind is though you may not be where you want to be, thank God you are not where you used to be.”

I came to the conclusion that life can be like waiting for the train to stop so you can get on. You get to see flashes of blurry faces as it races down the track, faces you won’t ever meet, and stories you won’t ever listen to. You are not affected by that because it is unknown, but it is known that they are there. We settle with knowing that we can’t know everything, and we can’t ever have it all. Then the door opens and you step in for a while with the people surrounding you, unfamiliar faces who have the same or different destination and then you get off again at your next stop.

When toxic people in your life stay behind, you keep taking trains to more new places. Toxic people will only follow you to prevent you from enjoying those new places, from meeting new people and breathing out any harmony or peace. They make life feel like there’s only one train, and one way to live your life. With them. That is absolutely wrong. You deserve to be appreciated, to be wanted by people who genuinely admire you for your personality.

Truth be told, you are a gift. You are the beautiful broken thing that keeps the world going, and that realization is only achieved when you let go of the people that hurt you, the past that haunts you, and practice self-discovery every day getting to know yourself first before deciding to bring someone else into your life. Letting go of some people has made me feel like I could finally breathe now, I breathe in bliss, and I breathe out with hope that things will get better one day through God who guides me.

That he allows me to understand that the people who I’ve loved so hard and had to let go of are the greatest things that could have happened to me. That the pain is temporary, and it is what fuels me to love more, pray more, and live more. That no matter how far I go in the world I never forget that the people that belong in my life have a way of coming back, or God will replace them with someone twice as better.