Hate To Break It To You, But A Relationship Isn’t Going To Fix All Your Problems

There’s this big misconception that single people are less happier than people who are taken. Society likes to tell us that it’s true, and I think a lot of us believe it. We believe that once we find ‘the one’, our life will turn around. We believe that once we find our person, we will finally be happy.

I’m sorry, but that’s a whole bunch of bullshit.

One person isn’t going to turn your world into magic. One person isn’t going to turn your life into a fairytale storybook. One person isn’t going to turn your blues into sunshine. It doesn’t work that way. Love doesn’t work that way.

If you aren’t happy with your life right now, what makes you think that one person is going to change that? If you aren’t happy with yourself first, what makes you think one person will make that happen for you?

A relationship does not equal happiness.

Having a significant other does not mean that your days will suddenly be filled with joy and laughter. Having a significant other does not mean that your depression or anxiety or OCD will go away.

Being in a relationship does not mean that the tragedies of your past and of today will disappear.

You’ve got to start with yourself. With your pain and with your heartache. And you’ve got to beat it on your own. You don’t need a vice. You don’t need another person to cover it up. You need your own strength. You need your own bravery and courage. You don’t need to be in a relationship.

You think that one person is going to make you suddenly believe in yourself? Do you think that one single person is going to get to the center of your heart and make it happy again? Do you think that one person is going to take away all of that hurt and all of that regret from your past? No.

You’ve got to do this on your own. You’ve got to be on your own and learn how to thrive. You’ve got to stand on your own two feet before you even think about getting into a relationship. You’ve got to grow your heart on your own, without anyone else holding your hand.

Your life will never be what you want it to be if you aren’t happy with yourself first. You have to go through your pain on your own to prove to yourself that you are strong and brave and beautiful. And you need to love yourself.

Loving yourself takes work. And lots and lots of time. Be patient with yourself. It isn’t going to happen overnight. It isn’t going to happen once you lose the weight, or quit that job, or let go of that toxic friendship. But please, have faith in yourself. Have faith in your self worth. Have faith that you are a lovable person, even if you don’t have a significant other.

You are so, so precious.

Focus on your strengths. Focus on your hobbies that make your light up. Focus on what makes you unique, on what makes you you. 

There is more to life than getting a boyfriend or a girlfriend. There is so much more out there that you haven’t even experienced yet. So try not to focus on what you don’t have, and focus on what you do have. There’s more to you than you think. And there’s more beauty inside of you than you even realize.

So go out and live. Really live. Don’t get caught up in not having someone to love. It will happen when it is meant to. Just start by loving your own heart and your own self first.