Dear God, I’m Running Back To You

I want give myself back to You. I want to tell you how sorry I was when I didn’t follow your leading. When You told me ‘no’ but I still head on and followed my ‘yes’. When I thought that I can handle my life well with You being distant – just calling you in desperate times when I badly need help. I am sorry that I have abused myself – for thinking that I can control everything in my life. I am sorry that I have been so consumed with the wordly things that promised me happiness but gave me nothing but non-contentment, jealousy and pain.

I am sorry that I disobeyed You. I am sorry that I have degraded my value. I am sorry for thinking that I was not worthy enough of being loved and settled to what I thought I deserve. I am sorry for the nights that I’d rather exchange text messages with a guy who has been sending me mixed signals of his feelings rather than sitting down with You and talking to You. I am sorry for choosing to open my phone’s notifications first thing in the morning instead of opening the bible and read Your word.

God, running back to You. I’m bringing back my broken pieces to You – broken from all the hurt I got in the world.

This time, I want to make it right with You. I want to change not for the world to praise me but because I know Your light shines upon me. I want to declare that You are not just my Savior, You are my Lord – the One who calls the shot, that You are the Boss. You are driver of my life. You are the author of my days. You hold the pen of my life. I want to do it Your way, because Your plans for me are always bigger than I could ever dream of.

I want to make You my reality instead of being a concept. I want to praise You for as long as I live. I want to be used for Your glory, so that people may know how good You are. I want to honor You.

Thank you for meeting me where I am. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for taking my broken pieces and for making me whole.