He’s Not Coming Back, So Please Move On

We aren’t going to talk about this anymore. You’ve had your time, and I’m sick of hearing about it. He’s not coming back. There isn’t a chance in hell. This is something you must fully accept before you can move on. You will move on, that’s a guarantee, but you have to loosen your death grip on the past. You’ve hurt yourself more than I ever expected you could.

Back when it all began, you thought this one was just like all the others. Clearly, something more happened. I understand now that you fell in love. You tried so hard not to, but it pulled too strong. It happened anyway. It’s not your fault. Love is messy and untraditional. You’ve learned that now. Love can even be one-sided. In fact, it may pull even stronger that way. You don’t have an outlet. You aren’t allowed to pour it into the other person, and you’re at risk for overflowing.

It’s okay to acknowledge that yes, it fucking hurts, but you can’t get off on this pain forever. Feel it once, feel it fully, and then never again. You need to recognize that heartbreak is a part of life. You signed up for this. You explicitly asked for this. You gambled high and you didn’t win and all the tears in the world won’t change that outcome. I knew you have never been able to process rejection well. (You don’t deal well in absolutes.) You need to learn right here and now that your hysterics are unacceptable. You cannot change the will of others. Come back to the real world.

But I know it felt real this time. It felt unmistakably real. I know that it felt as if your stars aligned. You began to see how your past and your future connected in real time. You were learning the reason behind every choice and every mistake. All of the changes in lanes lead you straight to him. You had felt love before, but you had never felt anything pulling so strong.

For the first time, you began to believe in soul mates. You started to believe that somewhere out there, people exist who were made of the exact same stuff. Linked irreversibly through time and space. Drawn together like magnetism, you would have always found each other. Chaos preceded your reunion, but sometimes it has to happen that way. In fact, the lull in the chaos was exactly how you knew.

The silver lining to this all is that you can try again. You’ve seen that it exists. When it happens again, you’ll know the signs. You won’t ever forget this one, but the sharpness of the pain will dull over time. As you live life, you will begin to view what happened to you through different lenses.

It will start to make sense. Maybe, if you are one of the luckiest, you will one day achieve “closure.” I’ve never seen it happen though, so don’t hold your breath.

You need to be strong, for me and for yourself. Every day will get easier, I promise. Of course you will be reminded, and of course you’ll want to cry. Just don’t. Walk away. Clean break. We are done discussing this subject.