What It Means To Decide To Change Your Life

If you are unhappy of where you’re at, be a little selfish and take care of you.
If you want a change, make it.
If you want a new job, start looking.
If you want to live somewhere new, move.
If you’re afraid of what comes next, feel the excitement of what could be.
If you doubt yourself, remember that you can take of yourself.

It’s New Year’s Eve. Today is 2016 and tomorrow will be 2017. This past year has been filled with love and loss. The two seems to always come hand in hand at the most unexpected times. I’m doing okay. I’ve been living in Boston for about two and a half years. Although I may be biased, I’m surrounded by the world’s greatest friends. I am lucky enough to share such a bond with the girls I grew up with. Even better, we are all here living in Boston. I even get to live with a couple of them. I like my job. I like my apartment. And sometimes I don’t. I love exploring the city of Boston and discovering new places and new faces. Things are good.

So why do I feel this strong urge to go on a new adventure?

I am not reaching my fullest potential at work and I no longer feel motivated. The turnover rate has grown significantly, tarnishing the mood of the office. The type of day I have is at times entirely dependent on the mood of my manager. I work long hours and sometimes I wonder, for what? Why am I doing this?

My shit show of a dating life has left me with plenty of writing material but also left me exhausted and defensive. There are the nice guys treat me well or take me on nice dates that I, unfortunately, feel no chemistry with. Then there are the guys I feel too much chemistry with, that later reveal how deathly afraid they are of anything more than a sexual relationship.

My apartment has some college girls on the floor below me that wake me up at unexpected hours of the night. I’m not in a bad living situation, but sometimes it is not ideal.
There is a voice inside me telling me that this is not where I am supposed to be right now. Work is unfulfilling. My apartment is frustrating at times. And the dating pool has gotten smaller and I’ve grown pickier.

Perhaps I am running away from some things but I am also running toward something else.

I am 25 years old, single, and ready for a new city. No one else is going to make that happen other than me. I don’t want this change because of the clichéd New Year New Me phenomenon. This voice has been present for the last couple of months and continued to grow louder each day. I’ve decided to make this decision for me. The thought of leaving my friends brings me sadness. It makes me uncomfortable. But for some reason, uncomfortable is what I want right now.

Staying in Boston would be comfortable right now. Staying in Boston would be easier than starting over some place new. But I am at a point in my life where I want to push myself.

I need to push myself. I can no longer ignore this voice in my head. I don’t want to.

So what’s next? Find someone to sublet my current apartment and then hit the road.

Where you ask? Los Angeles.

I’m not sure what will come next for me. Sure I’m nervous. I’m scared of missing out here in Massachusetts. I’m scared of missing my friends. I’m scared I could be making a mistake. But I am even more scared of looking back and wondering what could have been if I don’t make this move now.

I feel motivated. I feel excited. That’s how I know this is the right move for me right now.

Change is hard. But right now, that’s what I need.