17 Funny Tweets From This Hilarious Twitter Account Pretending To Be A Wolf In A Human World
Meet “Not A Wolf,” the funniest four-legged carnivore on the internet (or Twitter at least).
He’s just trying to blend in with the rest of us, even though he is secretly a wolf in a man’s clothing.
“Definitely not.”
As it turns out though, this covert creature actually has some pretty hilarious tweets that prove he’s not unlike the rest of us.
Here are some of them:
1.
OOH YEAH LAZY SUNDAY
I CAN RELAX ANYTIME I WANT DUE TO MY LACK OF NATURAL PREDATORS
BUT TODAY I WILL RELAX EXTRA
— NOT A WOLF (@SICKOFWOLVES) May 22, 2016
2.
BRUNCH IS WONDERFUL
I GET TO SHARE A MEAL WITH THREE OF MY BEST FRIENDS
AND A STRANGER ONE OF THEM SLEPT WITH
AND SOMEONE I SECRETLY HATE
— NOT A WOLF (@SICKOFWOLVES) December 11, 2016
3.
TIME FOR BRUNCH
TIME TO BE DECADENT
I WILL DRINK NOON BOOZE
AND CONSUME A FANCY MEAL
ALL AS A REWARD FOR BEING SO DRUNK LAST NIGHT
— NOT A WOLF (@SICKOFWOLVES) December 11, 2016
4.
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND I HOPE YOUR GOOD TIME IS CONSISTENT AND SUSTAINABLE UNLIKE DOMESTIC WOLF POPULATIONS IN LIGHT OF MASSIVE DEFORESTSTION
— NOT A WOLF (@SICKOFWOLVES) December 9, 2016
5.
OOH THE WEEKEND
KICK BACK AND RELAX
USE YOUR VERTICAL SPINE TO SIT CORRECTLY ON A BAR STOOL
USE HUMAN WORDS TO MAKE JOKES WITH THE BOYS
— NOT A WOLF (@SICKOFWOLVES) May 21, 2016
6.
NO WESTWORLD SPOILERS PLEASE
I WAS SO BUSY DOING REPORTS AND COULD NOT WATCH
I HAVE A TV THOUGH
I HAVE TWO
I DO NOT LIVE OUTSIDE SHUT UP
— NOT A WOLF (@SICKOFWOLVES) December 9, 2016
7.
HOW WILL YOU FELLOW HUMANS BE SPENDING YOUR SWEET SWEET FRIDAY TIME
— NOT A WOLF (@SICKOFWOLVES) December 9, 2016
8.
AH YES NEW JOB
NEW CUBE
NEW COWORKERS
NEW DISCRETE CORNER IN WHICH TO MARK MY TERRITORY
OMG FREE COFFEE
— NOT A WOLF (@SICKOFWOLVES) December 9, 2016
9.
CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH THAT WHILE MANY SHAMPOOS MAY SMELL LIKE DELICIOUS FOOD THEY ARE ACTUALLY GOO
I OBVIOUSLY KNEW
BUT WARN YOUR DOGS
— NOT A WOLF (@SICKOFWOLVES) December 8, 2016
10.
AH YES I HAVE ALL THE MIDDLE AGED HUMAN HEALTH PROBLEMS
TENNIS ELBOW
BUSINESS SHOULDER
THE KINGS SORENESS
BLOOD TEETH
ALSO DEPRESSION
— NOT A WOLF (@SICKOFWOLVES) December 7, 2016
11.
https://twitter.com/SICKOFWOLVES/status/806535392983916545
12.
https://twitter.com/SICKOFWOLVES/status/806169719371919365
13.
https://twitter.com/SICKOFWOLVES/status/805316831351373824
14.
https://twitter.com/SICKOFWOLVES/status/804443803696398336
15.
https://twitter.com/SICKOFWOLVES/status/804042314494705667
16.
https://twitter.com/SICKOFWOLVES/status/803310270143574016
17.
https://twitter.com/SICKOFWOLVES/status/801594563433525248
He’s really not that different from all of us, to be completely honest… 