This Is The Love That I Actually Want

We’re drowned in the idea of how the internet defines love. Of how casually movies portray friends with benefits, or no strings attached, or shades of grey. But I miss the kind of love that used to root on something deeper than having physical attraction and meeting needs. I hope for the kind of love that allow us to know and indulge in the painful, beautiful thing that is love.

I want the love that allows people to communicate. That talking about past and present and future can make two people feel connected. That socks can make a meaningful half hour conversation out of reach from the world wide web. That sitting beside each other talking about life, and love, and time, and space is amazing. That the presence of the other is enough to lure each other to just keep talking- keep going, without any ulterior intents.

I want the love that allows someone to respect me and my opinions. I want someone who doesn’t expect a kiss or sex on a first date or even at any specific number. I want someone who understands and believes that love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. That love is slow, love just flows, it isn’t rushed, it just goes.

I want love that allows two people to be honest. I want someone who not only tolerates my quirks but loves them. Someone who’s willing to drive 2 hours just to see me for 5 minutes because I really need a boost. Love that allows someone to tell me if he doesn’t like what I do or say, someone to tell me if there’s anything wrong. Someone who would want problems discussed and fixed, and not just something to ignore, forget and bring up after 3 years.

I want the love that allows people to be loyal. Not because of what others may think, but because of what a person thinks of himself. Someone who doesn’t need to be checked when going out with friends, or going through his phone to make sure his feelings are legitimate. The love that doesn’t need constant reassurance, because actions can prove so much more than in-a-relationship statuses, or undying snapshots of hugging and kissing and cuddling.

I want love that allows reality- a real reality. Love that doesn’t need coaching from friends, or Googling what Capricorns like and hate. Love that allows knowing someone as an actual person more than chatting, and texting, and exchanging conceitment of topless mirror selfies. Love that is capable of being comfortable in any circumstance. Love that doesn’t just want to meet certain expectations. Love that allows taking someone to the park instead of a 5-star restaurant isn’t a big deal, or eating spaghetti on first dates isn’t awkward at all.

I want a relationship where not seeing eye-to-eye means discussion, not argument. A love that allows two people to not only grow old with each other but grow up with each other through thick and thin. That the beats of the heart synchronize to one common goal, allowing two hearts to dance as if in a solo recital creating the perfect rhythm.

I want the love that allows someone to interpret it the way he or she wants without being dictated and influenced by society, crooked ideals or movie plot summaries. Love that doesn’t go around garnering likes and loves, and wow’s or comments from envious friends for getting the perfect match.

I want the love that allows feelings to go beyond what people can muster and what words can combine.

I want love that allows adults to still believe in fairy tale happy endings, but if it’s too much to ask, at least I didn’t give up on the thought that somewhere out there, someone feels the same thing.